The Innocent and Their Secrets
by confuzed
Summary: Remus has a secret that he's kept for six years, unwilling to tell anyone. James, Sirius, Peter, and even his parents have been kept in the dark for years. But not all secrets can stay hidden, some secrets are made to be found out with time.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own it.

A/N: first time so be nice, but don't let a girl be silly without her knowing, if there are plot problems, grammar problems, confusion just let me know... I'm still learning :)

Remus sighed, it was _that_ time again. His thoughts were irritating him quite excellently lately and it was showing, James had asked several times what his friend was struggling with; even Sirius had picked up on Remus's inward conflict. Being Remus he simply dismissed their questions with flimsy excuses about the up coming full moon.

'_This is getting ridiculous, I should be able to tell them anything, they're my best friends for Merlin's sake!'_

Despite the position his thoughts took he knew deep down that he would never willfully tell them this secret.

It was his secret that he had kept since before attending Hogwarts, it was his _one_ secret that he hid from his friends when every other secret was freely shared, it was _his_ secret.

And he secretly liked it that way. Unfortunately, he also knew that lately he had been obsessing over his long kept secret, it was beginning to take over his thoughts, his mind constantly wondered about _it._

He constantly wondered about _who_ it could possibly be. So far he had concluded that it was a girl (the letters were written in an elegant feminine script), he had concluded that she attended Hogwarts (sometimes the letters would reference the going's on in the school), he had concluded that she knew that he was a Werewolf but was trustworthy with that knowledge (the first letter stated that she knew and it had been close to seven years that he had been receiving the letters), and finally he had concluded that he desperately wanted to meet her.

His problem?

About half of the population at Hogwarts was female.

Sighing once more Remus lifted himself from the couch that he had been resting on and decided a walk would be in order. Maybe something along the way would distract his stubborn thoughts, if not then he only had six more hours to deal with it before his mind was given over to its more animalistic nature.

'_Pft, given over. More like brutally ripped from humanity and thrust into a violent rage filled state of chaos.'_

Being a werewolf was not fun.

XxXxXxXxXx

Lynne sighed, it was that time again. And to be frank she was conflicted over her feelings about the event.

On one hand she loved trying to help Remus with his 'furry little problem' as his friends so aptly put it. But on the other she was distressed because she was starting to _feel things_ for him. More than she felt she had the right to.

She had never even spoken to him, as oddly as that sounded.

The night she turned eleven she had been in the forest up a tree for a variety of reasons when she heard a born chilling howl that would forever be with her. That was the night she first met Remus, that was the first night her life had truly ever been in danger, that was also the night that Lynne's outlook on the world would forever be altered.

She had been lucky that the tree was too tall and too thick for Remus to climb or knock over.

That's right, Werewolves cannot climb trees.

That little fact saved Lynne's life, the werewolf had paced around her tree the whole night, not once becoming distracted and wandering off. Occasionally he would start a bout of trying to scratch the trunk thin enough to be knocked over, and he got unnervingly close to succeeding many times throughout the night.

But that warm august night was Lynne's lucky night and a testament to fate that she survived. When morning came Lynne was greeted with the sight of a young naked boy lying passed out on the forest floor where the vicious werewolf had been angrily waiting.

That boy was none other than Remus Lupin at age eleven.

Ever since then Lynne had followed the lunar chart, made chocolate, and written some sort of letter to the poor boy.

She always signed her letters R.L. because her full name was Rayleigh Lynne Lurse. When she was eleven she still went by her given name of Rayleigh, but after certain events transpired she decided that while attending Hogwarts it would be best to go by her middle name.

As of recent Lynne felt herself becoming increasingly worried about Remus's mental status. He seemed to be bitter and depressed. Lynne could think of several reasons but she wasn't one to presume she knew what Remus was thinking.

From what she observed he was a very complex person.

Sighing once more Lynne lifted herself from her bed and went in search of the kitchens where the house elves let her make her special chocolate. Her first year she had to practically beg the house elves to the point of tears to let her make her own food.

Six years later the house elves now expected her and would chat amicably with her about random recipes.

Lynne smiled at the thought of them.

They were her little friends.

xXxXxXxX

_  
Dear Remus_

_  
I'm afraid that I'm becoming a bit too attached to you for your own good. I find myself seeing you in classes and in the hallways and wanting to go up to you and just hug you and tell you that everything happens for a reason and that things will eventually get better for you._

_  
Don't think I haven't noticed how melancholy you've been lately, and honestly you're beginning to worry me my dear. It is unfortunate that your friends have inadvertently deserted you for their current significant others, minus Peter, but he still never seems to be around for you. I hope you are not bitter towards them, you know that they are wonderful people, friends of the highest caliber._

_  
But they are also adolescent teenage boys, not the most perceptive of creatures I'm afraid. I'm positive they aren't even aware that it is happening. I'd suggest talking to them about it, but I don't know them so I don't know if that is the best course of action._

_  
My gorgeous, precious Remus, you have no idea how I wish life were kinder to you. I've never told you how important you have been in my life. I'm sure you could have gathered that from the previous letters, but it still feels as though I need to tell you in words._

_  
Since I was eleven and this whole weird pen pal-chocolate delivery event began you have been the one person that has kept me sane during all the storms that life has waged against me. Since that night in August, I'm afraid, and slightly embarrassed, to say that you have been my only friend. _

_  
I wish that were an exaggeration, but it's the truth._

_  
Acquaintances might as well be strangers here at Hogwarts. A 'hello' in passing hardly counts when it comes to friends. I've never had the wonderful friends that you do, the ones that would do anything to make you feel better, make you laugh, make you love life. Were it anyone else but you I would be envious of the friendships you have with Peter, James, and Sirius; however, since it is you I know that you deserve them more than I ever will._

_  
I'm sorry that these letters have been becoming more and more personal, I'm sure you don't want to hear about my droll life. But as I said before, this is my only form of friendship. And be that as it may, I would never ask for anything more._

_  
You matter to me Remus, I care deeply about you and your happiness, please keep that in mind._

_  
You aren't alone in this world; you aren't alone in your problems._

_  
Most of all, you are loved, probably not as much as you deserve, but it is there. Don't take it for granted._

_  
PS: I read that putting cranberries in the chocolate makes them taste better and that they help with the healing process, I don't know if it's true._

_If you like them then tomorrow at lunch (Wednesday) place your goblet upside down on the table, if you don't like them then place your goblet right side up next to you on the bench. If you do it within the first ten minutes of lunch I'll be there to see. _

_  
Enjoy and feel better  
with much love, R.L._

Remus closed his eyes and lay his head down on his pillow in the infirmary. Last night had been a bit more brutal than normal and this letter, while highly looked forward too, was not helping with his frustration.

He wished she would just give him a hug in the hall. Remus hadn't had a hug in so long, and as silly as that sounds, he was craving a hug right about now.

Any normal person might have been creeped out by the fact that a strange girl was watching him; many might even consider it stalking him. But Remus wasn't normal and this relationship, if you will, had been going on for so long he would be extremely upset if he didn't receive a letter.

In one of her letters he remembers her saying that '_sometimes a person needs to know that they are supported and cared for by someone they don't know, it lets them know that they aren't alone in this world. We often feel like our friends and family only support us because they are our friends and family and feel obligated to. Strangers have no obligation, if there is support from them it's because they believe in what they're supporting.'_

Remus had needed to hear that, Remus needed her.

They relationship was extremely bizarre, and he didn't quite understand how she could know he was a werewolf and yet tell him all of those wonderful, inspiring things. But she was consistent, she was always there. Twelve letters a year for twelve full moons, over six years and she hadn't missed one.

That slightly baffled Remus; he assumed that she lived near him when they were younger because the first letter was on a box of chocolates that had been set on his window seal before he ever set foot on Hogwarts. They were store bought chocolate at the time but they still tasted delicious. He remembered her first letter; in fact he thought that the words might forever be engrained in his brain

_  
I don't know your name, but I know you're a werewolf. I don't think you're a monster though; you just look like another kid like me. I thought you should know that even though you scared me last night I still want to be your friend. I need one right now and I think you might too._

_R.L._

Remus never told his parents about the letters or the chocolate, it was his secret, she was his friend.

And he liked it that way.

xXxXxXxX

On Wednesday at lunch Remus had the goblet upside down on the table. From her spot at the Hufflepuff table Lynne smiled, she had hoped that the cranberries would taste okay.

"Hey Mooney, were you aware that goblets are more functional when right side up?" teased a bemused Sirius.

Remus smiled at his friend "yes actually I am aware of that, I'm surprised that you are too though."

James laughed at little as Sirius pouted at the attack on his intelligence.

"So I hear that due to Professor Sprout's mother falling ill that there is going to be a substitute for a while?" asked Remus

"Yup, you missed her first day yesterday. She's not much of a looker but she seems nice enough" replied Sirius.

"I think she was saying something about partnering us up for a while with the Huffles in our class, I guess that most of us Gryff's in the class aren't doing as well as we should, I think she called it 'constructive peer something or another'" James said around a mouth full of food.

All four shared a collective groan. Hufflepuff's, while essentially harmless and kind creatures, were rather annoying and stupid at times.

"Well, I guess it's about time we get to Herbology." Said Remus, ever the punctual one.

xXxXxXxXx

"Hello again class, for those of you that were gone yesterday, my name is Mrs. Greene. I've decided that the easiest way to do this is to simply assign your partners alphabetically, nothing like fairness you know." She said smiling brightly at her forlorn looking class.

"Abbot, Alcott"

More names were read.

"Black, Bridges"

"Lupin, Lurse"

"Pelly, Pettigrew."

"Potter, Preston"

And the list continued.

xXxXxXxX

Lynne's breath caught when she heard her partner's name.

'_This isn't good…I'm not prepared! '_

Swallowing the fear that had suddenly risen in her she gathered her things and tried to calmly walk to where Remus was sitting.

"Hi" she said softly looking him shyly in the eye

"Hello" he said smiling back kindly.

Averting her eyes to the floor she swiftly dropped her belongings on said floor and sat in the chair, looking ahead as though she were highly uncomfortable with the situation.

xXxXxXxXxX

Remus had no reaction when his partners name was called; to be honest he didn't even know who this Lurse person was. The other houses didn't really associate with Hufflepuff's.

However, when she said 'hi' he was pleasantly surprised by his new partner. After a kind 'hello' from him she seemed to go into an awkward state and not look at him.

This gave him the time he wanted to study her. Remus was a great observer.

She had wavy chestnut brown hair that reached her shoulders, a nice pale complexion, a petite button nose, and her eyes…well, they were amazing.

They were this gorgeous hazel color, with grey and green flecks. He'd never seen eyes like hers. It wasn't just the color, it was the way she used them. When she was actually looking at him they seemed warm and welcoming, they made him feel a tingly on the inside.

Snapping out of his observation mode Remus realized that she had begun taking notes seeing as how the teacher had started giving a lecture.

Dismissing the thoughts of his new partner from his head he too began taking notes.

xXxXxXxXxXxX

"So, I noticed that your herb partner is quite the looker. Lucky you Mooney. Mines a guy and he seems dumber than a rock. I hate Huffs." Sirius said as the four of them sat on their respective beds in the seventh year dorm.

"You know, I never caught her name. I don't think she told me. She was really quite." Replied Remus.

"Don't worry Mooney; I'm sure once you turn on that Marauder charm she'll warm right up to you." Winked James.

Rolling his eyes, Remus chose not to respond.

The conversation soon turned to the next prank they were planning and the herbology partners were forgotten.

xXxXxXxXxX

Lynne was lying in bed still stressing over the new development in herbology class.

What was she going to do when he found out? She knew he'd find out, it was Remus Lupin, smartest kid in the school.

She was doomed.

And what happens when he realizes that his mysterious pen pal is nothing more than a silly little Hufflepuff? Will he still want her friendship?

Gryffidors weren't known to associate with Hufflepuffs.

Hufflepuffs were considered the weaker species around Hogwarts, more like pets than people in many cases.

Why on earth would Remus Lupin, famed marauder, even consider her friendship?

What possible purpose would a Werewolf have being friends with a Hufflepuff?

Lynne knew she was thinking irrationally. She simply couldn't bear the thought of losing her pen pal. She couldn't bear the thought of losing her Remus.

Like most people Lynne was freaking out over the prospect of life changing drastically, she didn't want her secret discovered, secrets weren't supposed to be discovered, ever.

'_Well, not this secret anyway.'_ She thought dismally.

"Not much I can do now…" she said before deciding that sleep was in order.

"Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts."

Arnold Bennett

A/N: Sound interesting at all? Need more editing? If you read please feedback  I'm still learning how to do this whole writing thing.


	2. Chapter 2

Lynne gave an annoyed huff, he was _still_ moping around depressed!

It had been over a week and a half since the last full moon, normally he snapped out of his moods in a few days.

This was starting to worry her even more than usual. He seemed extremely depressed. A defeated air was starting to hang around the moody boy.

Lynne did NOT like this. She had decided to give him three more days to cheer up before drastic measures were taken.

What kind of drastic measures you ask?

Well, she wasn't exactly sure yet, still hoping that he wasn't going to push the envelope on this one.

On a lighter note he seemed to be accustoming himself to being her partner in Herbology. They never talked much, and Lynne was still pretty sure he didn't even know her name.

That was partially her fault…okay, all her fault.

It wasn't that she refused to tell him, it was just that she wasn't one to offer information about herself to anyone.

Remember the strict no friend's trend she had going on? It wasn't all involuntary; she knew that her actions contributed largely to the loneliness she experienced.

All the same, Herbology was quickly becoming her favorite class. Just being next to him was comforting; his aura was very calming to her. That might be because she knew him very well, or it might just be how he was, the reason didn't really matter to her, she just enjoyed the close proximity.

Unfortunately, being around him so much was not helping with the things she was feeling about him. They seemed to feed off of his aura, growing stronger each day.

It was very frustrating. Lynne had never liked a boy before; she had never had a reason or the freedom to. Romantic relationships were a luxury that Lynne couldn't afford.

Sighing, a bad habit of hers, she stood from the lunch table and was about to walk to Herbology when the strangest thing happened.

"Hey Lynne, do you mind if I walk with you to Herbology?" asked a small blonde girl that Lynne vaguely recognized as a third year Hufflepuff.

"Uhm, if you want to." Lynne replied, slightly caught off guard.

The two walked in relative silence until about twenty feet from the greenhouse when the third year piped up a random question.

"Um, Lynne? How to you know if someone likes you?"

Lynne stumbled a bit.

'_Why on earth would _anyone_ ask _me_ about relationships? Its common knowledge that I've never had one.'_

"Well, I'm not sure really, why are you asking me?" confusion was clearly painted on Lynne's pretty face.

The shy third year shrugged a little.

"You're nicer than most of the older girls and your pretty so I figured that you've had plenty of guys like you…" she trailed off timidly.

Lynne started laughing as she said that.

Lynne had never had a guy tell her anything of the sort, explaining her lack of relationship experience to the third year the now embarrassed Hufflepuff ran off to her respective class.

Still laughing lightly to herself Lynne walked into her own class and nonchalantly took a seat next to Remus.

"_Honestly, boys just don't like Lynne. That's like rule number one of life."_

xXXxxXXxxXXxx

Remus won't lie; he had purposely shown up to class early so that he could see _her_ when she walked in. He wasn't sure how exactly it happened, but he had grown quite accustomed to the sight of his lovely lab partner.

Even though they never exchanged words she always greeted him with the kindest smile. He swore that at times his heart stopped when she did that.

Today, however, Remus saw something he had yet to see. Lynne was actually conversing with another person; it could be seen through the clear glass of the green house. The girl she was talking to look like a young one, probably in second or third year.

Remus watched as different emotions flickered across Lynne's face. Contentness, Curiosity, Shock, and then Humor.

Remus thought it was quite charming but found himself wishing he was hearing the conversation.

When Lynne entered the door laughing to herself Remus's breath caught in his throat. In his mind she seemed to be glowing from whatever thoughts she was having, and her laughter sounded similar to light chimes being blown in the wind.

Poor Remus was quite enchanted with our little Lynne.

When she sat next to him he caught the smell of chocolate drifting off of her person. Remus liked chocolate, Remus liked chocolate a lot.

Still staring at her in his stupor she turned to look at him smiling the smile that haunted him late at night.

"I brought something for you." She said lightly, smiling, but a little hesitant.

Snapping out of his wordless daze he quickly flashed a grin.

"Oh?"

Blushing slightly Lynne pulled a small package out of her back, it was round and wrapped in a shiny foil.

"It's only chocolate, but you've been a little down lately and I was hoping it would be a little pick-me-up for you."

She said quietly, not looking him in the eye.

Remus was disconcerted by the fact that she of all people noticed his sullen mood. He had tried hard to conceal it, and had, hitherto this moment, thought he succeeded. His friends surely didn't notice it anyway.

He also noticed that she said it like a fact, like she somehow knew for certain that he was upset inwardly.

And indeed he was.

In the world or Remus relationships are forbidden. Werewolves don't date. Werewolves aren't supposed to receive that wonderful gift.

Love is something that Werewolves know better than to seek after. Love is something that monsters don't get to participate in.

Remus already thought he was too accepted and loved by those around him, his strange pen pal friend loved him, his actual friends loved him, and his family loved him.

Remus didn't think he deserved any of it. He was a monster.

Despite how he viewed himself and what he deserved his thoughts were turning mutinous.

Lately Remus was struggling to keep his mind off of two girls. The two plaguing him were his mysterious pen pal and his lab partner. He found himself imagining spending quality time with them, talking, laughing, holding hands and acting like he was a normal person.

He felt guilty, he knew his thoughts were wrong and that he should stop, but they seemed to grow stronger when he protested them.

And now he was receiving gifts. Normally when a girl offers him a gift he would turn it down because it was normally just some random fan girl trying to catch his attention.

But this wasn't some fan girl this was…..?

"What's your name?" he asked suddenly

Lynne looked at him with wide eyes, her hand stopping in mid air holding his chocolate.

'_If I tell him my real name_ _then he'll know for sure that I'm his pen pal. I'm not ready for that! It's too terrifying. But I can't lie to him….it's Remus, my Remus."_

"Err…well, people call me Lynne…" she said lamely, feeling stupid. She actually felt like slapping herself…'_way to be brilliant Lynne....'_

Remus cocked his head to the side.

"Lynne huh? That's pretty." He said smiling warmly.

"…_.is he flirting with me?"_ she thought confused.

"Thanks." She said attempting a small smile back and handing him the chocolate.

Luckily for her the teacher entered the room and class began. Remus smiled one last time at her and pocketed the chocolate.

XXxXxXxXxXxX

Later that night Remus sat in the common room in another foul mood. The cause? Himself.

Remus was mentally yelling at himself for actually flirting with Lynne. He knew better! He knew he was just tempting himself with ideas and things that he could…would never have.

Huffing in annoyance he stood and shoved his hands roughly into his pockets, intent on stomping around the school grounds until he felt better.

His hand brushed against something hard and he suddenly remembered the chocolate.

'_How could I have forgotten you?' _he thought mildly amused as himself. Remus was usually more put together.

But, like many of the previous nights he was once again alone. Abandoned by his friends. James had finally gotten Lily and was spending every waking moment with her. Sirius was off romancing his newest conquest…Jill something or another, and Peter…well, Remus didn't really care where Peter was.

Wrapping his fingers around the prized chocolate he quickly strode out to the lake where he decided it would be fitting to enjoy his gift.

Unwrapping the foil, the smell of chocolate drifted up to his nose. Remus loved chocolate.

Smiling and closing his eyes in enjoyment he bit into the delicious smelling treat, about halfway through the first chew Remus's eyes snapped open.

He had tasted this chocolate before. It tasted like the chocolate his pen pal always left him…

'_But surely….there's no way Lynne could be….could she? No, it's impossible. Lynne couldn't be R.L. she was L.L…..right?'_

Her word echoed through his head '_people call me…' _

'_Isn't that the same as saying my name is? Then again people, mainly my friends, call me Mooney…what if it's the same with Lynne?'_

Thoughts reeling Remus absentmindedly finished off the rest of the scrumptious chocolate that was in his hand. His head was begging to hurt as it was flooded with thoughts, doubts, and most of all fear.

Remus was in serious trouble if Lynne and his pen pal were one in the same…he already harbored illegal feelings for both…he knew that he would be a goner if they combined.

'_But then again if Lynne is my pen pal then she already knows about me…but what if she doesn't care about me like that? Supporting a werewolf is different then dating a werewolf…"_

Shaking his head violently Remus spoke forcefully to himself.

"There will be no dating! You know better Remus! Quit being idiotic...quit being hopeful…"

The last part came out softer and sad.

xXxXxXxXxXX

Lynne was pacing through random corridors.

"How could I be so stupid? Now he knows! I'm sure of it! It's Remus bloody Lupin, Genius Extraordinaire! Why? Why? Why did I do that? And chocolate of all things?!"

You see, poor Lynne wasn't thinking when she gave Remus his gift…she was acting more out of the habit she'd developed that involved trying to help him feel better and she knew chocolate did just that. It wasn't until later that the consequences of her actions dawned upon her.

Lynne was seriously contemplating bashing her head against the stone walls. She wanted to die. She could feel the inevitable looming in the near future.

She was going to lose her only friend; she was going to lose the only thing that validated her being a witch. She was sure of it.

Letting out a strangled scream Lynne kicked the wall before quickly regretting her rash action. Never in her life had she ever felt so angry with herself.

Never had Lynne's immediate future felt so uncertain.

'_Well…that's a lie…but that was a long time ago…'_ she thought nostalgically before shaking the thoughts from her head.

"Focus Lynne! What are you going to do?"

This went on for another half an hour before an emotionally drained and distressed Lynne Lurse dragged her sorry self to the Hufflepuff common room. All the way hoping something would jump out and kill her on the way.

Inwardly Lynne was terrified of change, so often in her short life change deprived her of the things she cared about, more often than not change was a bad thing.

Throughout all of the negative changes that Lynne had experienced she had always had Remus to write to, she had always had Remus to rely on. Writing Remus was her way of coping with change. It was the only way she could talk philosophically about the things in life without judgment.

Sure she knew that Remus either accepted or rejected her theories on life and its happenings, but he never judged them to her face.

Why didn't she just write in a journal you ask? Well, to be honest writing to a person feels so much more important and worth while than writing to yourself in a silly journal.

That and journals can be swiped and exploited, letters can too, but the risk was much lower.

Journals also seemed just a little to sappy and sentimental for Lynne to keep.

XXxXxXxXxXxX

Remus was fidgeting in his seat.

Where was she? She never missed Herbology from what he gathered…that and today was the day that Remus was going to try and get answers from her if there were any to get.

Forty minutes later an extremely irate Remus left Herbology.

She never showed.

XXxXxXxXxX

That night at dinner Remus was once again in a foul mood, although it was beginning to seem like more of a permanent thing to his friends.

Currently none of them were trying to talk to him because every time they tried he would bite their heads off.

Remus was a very scary person when angry.

Glaring at his mashed potatoes apparently trying to set them on fire with the anger burning in his eyes Remus did not notice the owls come in.

Most of the owls came in the morning, but that was because of the daily prophet, owls didn't really care what time it was when they delivered things, they just delivered.

A small tawny fluff ball of an owl landed in front of Remus, startling him out of his death stares and drawing the attention of his friends. It wasn't very often that he received letters.

Hooting cutely the owl dropped the letter on the table and ignoring the humans around him began nipping at the mashed potatoes.

"Hey prongs look! Its eating mashed potatoes!" Sirius said excitedly.

"It looks more like its taking a bath in the mashed potatoes." Commented James smiling widely.

Both turned to Remus expecting a smile or a clever joke but their young friend was staring at the letter with a conflicted look on his face.

It was from her, he could tell by the writing. But she never wrote him except for during full moons.

"You okay Mooney?" James asked concerned.

Numbly Remus looked up from the letter and into their eyes before dropping it back down to the letter. For some reason this unexpected letter had unleashed a monstrous storm of trepidation into his nervous system.

Waving a hand in front of Remus's eyes Sirius shrugged and then resorted to poking him.

Still no reaction.

His friends were worried. After two minutes of nothing James couldn't take it anymore and snatched the letter off of the table.

Remus's head snapped towards James, eyes wide with fear and pleading.

'_They can't know!' _ He though irrationally.

"No, don't!" his mouth spouted before his mind even registered what he was saying.

James was startled to say the least. Remus had never sounded so forceful, so desperate.

Glancing at Sirius James calmly pocketed the letter, and anticipating Remus's protests he quickly spoke.

"Mooney, I'm not going to open it. But you can't have it back until you tell us what's going on. For about a month now you've been…off. We've been concerned."

Remus's eyes lost their desperation as the emotion dissolved into blankness.

"I…I…Can't…" he spoke lamely.

Sighing James stood suddenly from the bench, signaling for Sirius and Peter to do the same.

"Mooney, it wasn't request. I'm not going to force it out of you but you're also not getting your letter back until you tell us what's going on. It doesn't have to be now, or even soon. But we're your friends, and you've needed us lately but refused to acknowledge it, always being moody and snide."

Remus looked from one set of eyes to the other dismayed.

Were they serious?

"I've needed you but refused to acknowledge it?" he asked incredulously

"You're the ones who disappear every night! You're the ones who abandoned me! And now you've stolen my letter!"

Remus knew he was shouting, he knew he should stop, he was vaguely aware that dinner time in the great hall was neither the time nor the place for this to happen, he was highly aware of the fact that he was too angry to think logically.

And so his tirade continued.

"You guys are the ones who decided that sucking face with some bird is more important than me! You're the ones who decided that I would be bloody fine by myself without my input; you guys are the ones who haven't been around for me to tell you what's going on! You're the ones who acted like you didn't care, so why are you acting like you do now?"

He ended his speech in a yell and quickly rose from the bench and stormed out of the now quite great hall.

His three friends stood their frozen. Never in their six years of friendship has Remus blown up at them. It was disturbing.

XXxXxXxX

From across the room Lynne too sat stunned.

What had she done? She hadn't expected him to react that way…never in her wildest dreams would she have imagined that reaction.

Mentally freaking out and with tears gathering slowly in her eyes Lynne quickly hopped up from her seat at the Hufflepuff table and took off after Remus. She didn't want Remus to lose his friends over something like this.

She had to fix it. There was no other option.

Her swift exit did not go unnoticed by his friends…or by anyone really, seeing as how the whole school was still stunned.

In the back of her mind Lynne knew that this was going to change her life, but right now there were more important things, more important people to deal with. In her mind the quality of her life was less important than the quality of Remus's.

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."

Leo F. Buscaglia

A/N: is it going the way you guys like? Any problems with plot? Feedback 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own the character from Harry Potter, I only exploit them for my enjoyment 

* * *

Sometimes life sucks.

As simple and straightforward as that phrase sounds it's usually just the pretty version of the hail storm of shit that life throws at you.

And wouldn't you know Remus forgot his umbrella; consequently, that left him to face this trial without the aid of anything.

He was helpless, and he hated it. Completely at the mercy of whatever—whomever—decided to attack; mentally, physically, emotionally.

Remus was defeated. He didn't want to admit it. Weakness is not a good thing when you're under attack. Especially if you have secrets like the kind Remus does.

Tired honey brown eyes darted in every direction, not seeing the world around him in the least. His mind was swimming and he felt like he was stumbling through a nightmare, completely detached but still vulnerable.

Unaware of where his feet were taking him Remus paid little attention the scenery that was passing before him.

Somewhere along the way he had broken into a run, a reckless, flailing sort of sprint. Unaccustomed to using his legs so demandingly he didn't get far before the physical pain set in.

It was nice. Physical pain often temporarily relieves a person of mental or emotional pain.

Currently he was refusing to think. Normally it is impossible for a person to refuse to think of something because the moment they decide to boycott said thoughts the subject is fresh your mind and once something is on a mind it is usually thought about.

That's how brains work.

But Remus wasn't normal, and he was bottling up six years of emotions, stress, and disappointment.

He ran until he couldn't run anymore, ironically collapsing in front of the shrieking shack.

Collapsing under the thing that had plagued him for so many years.

Remus had finally cracked.

XxXxXxXxXXXxX

Lynne was desperate and in pain.

Like our dear Remus she was not an avid runner and sprinting after his slightly quicker form through the castle, across the school grounds, and all the way to the shrieking shack was no walk in the park for Lynne.

However, legs cramps were the last thing on Lynne's mind.

'_What have I done?' _Kept floating through her head.

It was all she could think. In her mind it was all her fault, it didn't occur to her that logically Remus would have to vent his pent up emotions regularly or end up blowing up like this.

In the midst of perceived crisis logic rarely occurs though, that's generally how the situation ended up a crisis.

Much to Lynne's relief she finally reached the spot where Remus lay sobbing on the ground.

And doing the thing she had so longed to do, Lynne dropped to her knees next to his crumpled form and pulled him into a comforting hug, holding him tightly against her.

"Shh, shh, you're fine, it's fine. I'm so sorry Remus, I'm so so sorry." She said soothingly as she rocked back and forth with him.

"I'm so sorry, I should have known better. I promise I'll fix this. I promise Remus." Continued her half-conscious speech.

After a few moments Remus calmed down enough to pull away from his lab partner. Even amidst the drama unfolding before them Remus couldn't help but think she was beautiful.

Moving to stand and probably dart away from Lynne he froze when her hand grabbed his.

Remus stood looking down at his Lynne still on the ground where he had previously been, looking at the way she pleaded with her eyes for him not to leave, looking at the way their hands looked entwined together.

To be honest Remus was ashamed and embarrassed of his actions, of the fact that Lynne had witnessed it. It had been over 10 years since Remus had cried; being a guy he thought it below himself, below his side of the human species.

Remus was supposed to be strong; he was supposed to be a man, ready to take on the world without blinking an eye…right?

"Please, Lynne, I've made quite the fool of myself. Won't you let me go in peace?" His eyes were defeated, so tired, he looked decades older than he should have.

She shook her head frantically.

"Pl-please don't leave. I…need… I need you Remus." She admitted looking away, afraid of rejection.

Time seemed to stand still as both awaited the inevitable. They were at a threshold, the door had been painfully cracked open and they were still hesitant about opening it all the way and passing through it.

Once the door was open all the way there was no closing it, no going back, no pretending they didn't know what was inside of it, no pretending they didn't know what awaited them on the other side.

Remus sighed, as Lynne's eyes snapped back to him, guarded and attentive.

How could he say no to her? Her eyes penetrated his soul, her smile haunted his dreams, her presence intoxicated him.

There was no way he could deny her his company, there was no way he was willing to deprive himself of her company.

"Please, I won't keep you long. I promise." She said, coaxing him back to the ground.

Once seated next to her questions swarmed Remus's mind, but before he could even open his mouth to ask she spoke.

"Before you ask me the questions I know you have, let me tell you a story. It's important."

'_A story?'_ he thought somewhat snidely, now seemed the most inopportune moment for a story.

But keeping his thoughts silent he nodded, not taking his eyes from her profile.

"Well, once upon a time, a little under seven years ago there lived a small family on Rainey St. The father was a nature lover and the mother was a music lover, their daughter was both. From age two till eleven she practiced and played piano in the mornings and evenings and took walks in the forest with her father in between her practicing. She had a cat that she loved dearly.

Her life was simple; there was no contact with the outside world so there was very little conflict that she experienced in her younger years.

Despite the simplicity she was happy. She had a someone to love, someone to be loved by, something to work towards, and something to enjoy—which is all you really need in life when it comes down to it.

Her parents and her cat were her whole world; she was even named after them. Her fathers name was Raymond and her mother name was Leena and hers was Rayleigh.

Her parents were kindhearted people but they were devoutly superstitious, something that had been taught to them in their upbringing. They believed that evil was evil and good was good, there was no exception to when something was evil, more of a 'in one situation evil, in all situations evil' the same applied to good.

Up until her eleventh year that belief posed no threat to the young girl. Unfortunately for her a letter was delivered by an owl on her birthday, welcoming her to a witch's school.

Instead of laughing it off as some silly prank her parents turned mutinous. And in an instance Rayleigh went from their lovely young girl in their minds to something equivalent of the Jersey Devil.

They ran her out of the house with threats on her life, yelling that she knew all along that she was evil and that she was trying to deceive them and work her evil ways through them.

Simple people don't handle complex surprises very well; indeed they often make a mess of everything.

Anyway, I ran from them into the only other place I was familiar with, the forest. There was a huge tree in the middle that had always captured my fancy.

My father had told me it was the tallest, thickest, oldest tree that the forest housed.

When I reached my destination I was a wreck, I hated myself. I didn't hate them. I too thought I must be evil, and evil things were to be hated and despised.

I climbed high in the tree, somewhat hoping that I would slip and fall to my death, but not having the courage to willingly let go.

About halfway up a howl pierced the air around me, through me. It was terrifying. My tears dried instantly as I began listening to the sounds of the forest like my father had taught me. I heard a tremendous racket, something was barreling through the forest at a breakneck speed and it sounded as though it were bulldozing anything that was in its way.

In a minute or so a huge beast emerged from the surrounding trees, vicious and growling, looking me straight in the eyes.

Too terrified to look away I stared straight back. Hatred and animalistic fury seemed to burn through its eyes into my soul, I felt as though I had been set on fire, every nerve in my body was experiencing sensations.

I felt as though death were approaching quickly and promising the utmost pain.

As the beast sprang forward to attack, to kill…I remember it so clearly…I shut my eyes, too cowardly to face my demise, and tried to meld myself to the tree, after a violent shake and a few seconds that did not contain me being ripped apart viciously limb from limb, I peaked one eye open.

The werewolf was looking confused and angry. He couldn't reach me.

Did you know that werewolves cannot climb trees? Their claws aren't big enough to support their massive frames, and while they can jump to an impressive height I was just barely out of its reach.

For the rest of the night my nerves were abused again and again as it attempted to make a meal out of me.

At some point it had decided that scratching through the trunk might prove fruitful, and surely had it had several nights to devote to such a task it would have succeeded and I would have died.

But morning came like it always does.

Towards the end of the night I had closed my eyes, my mind was too shot to deal with watching attempt after attempt be made on my life.

I had decided I didn't want to look death in its face when it finally came.

After about twenty minutes of silence I grew hopeful that it had finally wandered away. To my surprise I found a young, naked boy lying collapsed at the trunk of my mistreated safe haven.

I was shocked. All throughout the night it had never dawned on me that the beast could be anything other than a beast.

I studied him closely; he looked about my age, so innocent, so young. Surely this tormented boy wasn't evil.

And if he wasn't evil…then there was a chance that I wasn't evil too.

I think that was the first time in my life I realized that things can have both good and evil contained in them. It was quite an eye opener.

I stayed high up in the tree for most of the day just watching and thinking, realizing, hoping; eventually, two adults came rushing through the trees and to the fallen boy's side.

Relief was clearly shown on their faces. They looked as though they had just discovered something precious they had lost.

It looked as though they loved him and only thought of his safety.

I was flabbergasted. His parents, I assumed, loved him despite what he had been during the night, despite the fact that he was evil.

They weren't threatening his life or kicking him out of their lives and home.

I'll admit that I was curious as to why, as to whom these people could be.

So I followed.

Somewhere along the trek behind them it dawned on me that my parents could be wrong. This was a new concept to me, my parents were all knowing…right?

Anyway, I followed them to a house not far from my own, always keeping in the shadows, although I doubt they would have noticed if I was walking plainly beside them.

They only displayed concern for the boy.

I watched as they took him to his room and lay him in bed, as they cared for his wounds, as they loved on him.

I wanted that, any form would suffice.

I wasn't stupid enough to think that my family would accept me back. I still wasn't sure that I wasn't evil. Upbringings are hard to dismiss in one night. But that wasn't exactly an ordinary night.

I wanted to love someone, I wanted to make someone smile the way they did when he finally opened his eyes.

I didn't want to leave; I wanted to contribute, to be useful, to be anything other than evil.

Whenever I would be sick or sad my mother would make me chocolate, telling me that it helped both the body and the spirit.

So I ran off to the store and swiped some chocolate and a pen and paper. Had I had the money I would have gladly given it, but I didn't exactly have time to pack any belongings the previous night.

And so I committed my first crime, but thought little of it. I had a goal, a purpose again, a good goal, a not evil goal.

And so I wrote the boy a note and placed in on the chocolate and left it on his window sill. I watched from a distance, straining my eyes to see his reaction when he finally found my gift to him.

I saw him curiously study it before picking up the note and reading it; I saw how he stiffened at the first line and then relax as he read the rest.

When he finished he looked frantically out the window, half hanging out and called out a 'hello, is anyone there?'.

I remember smiling when he did so. He needed a friend just as much as I did.

I stayed long enough to see him start eating the chocolate before stealing away, back into the forest.

I visited the boy frequently and from simple observation learned that his name was Remus and I had seen a similar letter on his desk, similar to the one that both ruined and saved my life.

It was only two or three weeks until that school was supposed to begin. I hadn't a clue as to how I was going to obtain transportation or anything else.

I believe it was a night or two before I was supposed to leave that I snuck back into my old house, swiped some money and the letter.

I didn't like stealing, but when you're homeless and eleven there is little else you can do but beg for people to have pity on you.

I'm actually surprised that I wasn't caught; then again people had never paid much attention to me.

I followed you to the platform, boarded, arrived at Hogwarts, did all of the rituals that first years do, and then sought out the headmaster.

I explained that both of my parents weren't magical and that I didn't have supplies, I explained that I did have some money though.

Ever since then I've followed your movements and actions through life. Writing to you because you were literally all I had left.

You had given me hope, a purpose, a someone to love. You had given me back a version of my life that I had lost."

Lynne turned from staring off into the distance and looked Remus straight in the eyes.

"You gave me a second chance, a chance to try and do the right thing, a chance to try and be a good thing in life."

"there are some nights where I can't sleep and I still hear my parents words echoing through my memories, telling me that I am evil and that death is the only thing the awaits me, the only thing I deserve."

Remus was unsure how to act. He had noticed how Lynne's story shifted from first person to third throughout the story.

The door had been swung open, nay, it have been completely demolished.

"I…I don't know what to say…" he said, feeling the need to say something.

She smiled kindly at him and squeezed his hand that he didn't know she was holding.

"I know, you don't have to say anything. The simple fact that you've accepted my strange form of friendship for so long is enough for me."

While Remus might not have needed to say anything for her sake he felt as though there was so much he had to say to her, but didn't know how.

"Why?" was all he asked.

Another gorgeous smile.

"I once told you that 'sometimes a person needs support from a stranger because they often feel that their friends and their family are only supporting out of obligation and that when a stranger supports you its because they genuinely care and believe in what they are supporting'….well…at other times a person needs a friend so that they know their not alone in this world."

"You're my friend Remus, just knowing that you exist and accept my gifts helps ward off the insurmountable torture of being completely and utterly alone in this world."

"I couldn't make friends here, Hogwarts is full of people that are too different than me, they don't like different here."

Remus gave a slight nod to signify that he did agree with that point. His mind was still racing, that was quite a story she had.

"How are you even magical if both of your parents are muggle?" he blurted out as the thought dawned on him.

"The best example I have is that it's like two brown eyed people having a blue eyed baby, somewhere along the way a recessive gene was thrown into the mix and then the perfect combination of things occurred and recessive genes combined and became stronger than the brown eyes genes."

"I just figure that somewhere in my parent's respective pasts some witches were thrown into the mix, and then they decided to combine and create me."

She said shrugging lightly. It was the only thing she could think of.

Remus nodded once more, still wrapped in thought. Lynne was still smiling, this experience wasn't _too_ bad, it was the first time she actually told someone about her past, and it felt nice.

"So your whole name is Rayleigh Lynne Lurse, hence the R.L. right?" he said slowly.

"Yup."

He had so much he wanted to say, but his thoughts weren't formulating into actual sentences, they were more of a muddle of emotions and half formed ideas.

"Come on, it's getting late, and I still have to fix the mess I created between your friends and you." She said pulling Remus out of his thoughts.

_His friends!_

Lynne's story had completely distracted him from his own misery and the rift he had cut between him and his friends.

Once more panic began to take hold in his mind, but before it could sweep him away from sensibility Lynne quelled it with a sentence.

"Remus, darling, quit freaking out. I created this mess, I'll clean it up. All you will have to do is apologize to them and you know they'll forgive you. You can tell them about me, or you can keep me a secret. It's your decision. Let me know when you do."

She said standing swiftly and dragging him back to the castle, lapsing into her more normal silent habits.

XXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Two pairs of concealed eyes glanced at each other as Remus and Lynne stood to leave, a nod was passed between them before they too stole away into the castle, unnoticed by our young friends.

"Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over."

Gloria Naylor

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A/N: so what'd you guys think? All feedback is more than welcomed.


	4. Chapter 4

Hallo all, sorry this has taken so long. I'm a terrible authoress I know.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or its inhabitants.

xXxXxXxX

The calmness that had overtaken Lynne when she was revealing herself to Remus quickly disappeared when he had.

Their parting had been nothing less than awkward, Lynne second guessing her actions and Remus unsure how to stop the feelings that his heart insisted on harboring. With a shaky smile Lynne quickly wished him a goodnight and good luck before dashing off to her Hufflepuff haven.

Currently Lynne was laying in the Hufflepuff girls' seventh year dorms, on her bed, head in hands, with thoughts racing a thousand miles a minute.

The thought at the forefront of her mind was "_What now?"_

The possible scenarios that ran through her head were quickly running away with her very extravagant imagination did nothing for her nerves, or her stomach

"_What if he ignores me?"_

The thought made her grimace.

"_What if he doesn't?"_

Lynne was not sure which thought scared her more. A normal person who had just revealed a secret that was kept so religiously generally felt relief. Lynne was not normal; in fact Lynne Lurse was a very bizarre person.

The way her thought process worked was quite warped. The simplicity of her early childhood was still hardwired into her brain. This is not to say she was dull or incompetent; on the contrary Lynne was quite intelligent and very philosophical at times, mostly in her letters to Remus.

But, Lynne preferred simple things, things that would not unexpectedly do about faces and turn without warning on her unsuspecting being. This situation was nowhere close to simple.

There were a multitude of reasons that could cause this to end badly, most of them were highly illogical considering what she knew of Remus and his habits, but since there was still a possibility she concluded that they were valid reasons to have fear of.

Fortunately for Lynne, She thought too little of herself and the role she actively played in Remus's life.

After all it is hard to turn your back on someone who has tirelessly supported you for over half a decade, offering hope and light in a world where there was very little.

XxXxXxXxX

James and Sirius silently snuck back into the castle, both lost in their separate thoughts. They witnessed the less than comfortable depart ion of the surprisingly mysterious Hufflepuff and the look of longing that Remus's face displayed as he watched her slight figure quickly disappear from sight.

Hardly one for subtly, Sirius threw off the invisibility cloak, stunning both James and Sirius with his sudden actions.

"Mooney, you never told us you had a pretty lady chasing after you! Now about that story of hers, weird blokes her parents must be. Lucky for you though, eh?" Said Sirius, his loud voice echoing off the high ceilings of the entrance way.

James had the good sense to look embarrassed at his eavesdropping and apparently very stupid friend, Remus simply looked mortified.

"Err…Sirius, you are an idiot." James said quietly, sending an apologetic look towards Remus.

Sirius's eyes flashed confusion before realization dawned and he remembered that he was indeed supposed to be invisible and quiet. Only a slight failure.

Remus remained silent. He was slightly appalled that his friends had spied on him, although not really surprised. Surely they only did it with his best interest in mind. He was also trying to figure out how to move forward with the apology he knew they deserved.

As he moved to open his mouth, James quickly cut him off.

"Forget about it Mooney, let's head up to our room and we can talk there. If… you want …that is." He finished clumsily.

Remus was by far the most introverted Marauder; he generally did not share his problems or worries, for whatever reason. The boys assumed that Remus preferred it that way.

With a slight nod and a small smile Remus showed his gratitude to the surprisingly intuitive James.

xXxXxXxXxXxx

Lynne stared at the blank parchment in front of her, unsure if writing Remus would be beneficial or detrimental. After all, the last letter she had sent him out of the ordinary stirred up quite a bit of ruckus.

Four days had passed since 'the incident' as Lynne referred to it. She had studiously hid in her common room, refusing to even go to eat. The house elves liked her well enough to bring food to her room.

Time for hiding was rapidly running low, it was Sunday night, classes would resume on Monday as per usual, and among those classes was Herbology.

Lynne was a nervous wreck to say the least; she would have to _sit next_ to him, with him _knowing_ who she was.

Did Lynne regret her actions? Yes.

Would Lynne do it again just to make Remus feel better? Also Yes.

Would writing a letter to him even matter? Lynne liked to hope so.

_Dear Remus,_

_ I am apologizing for the awful mess I've made of things. I'm afraid I've mucked everything up quite nicely. I am unsure of your reaction to all of this, and to be frank I am terrified of your reaction._

_ I suppose I should also apologize for hiding away for the weekend and ignoring this situation. I am sure that is not what you had hoped for, or maybe it was. Suddenly I find myself unsure of everything that involves you or is even remotely related to you._

_ As I have previously disclosed, you are my only friend. It breaks my heart to think that I have lost my dearest friend. But I would understand if it has to be this way…_

_ Even if it is so, and I hate to ask this of you, it must seem trivial, would you mind if I continued sending letter and chocolates…You don't have to read them or eat my treats. They have just been such a constant in my life I do not believe that I could stop cold turkey…I suppose if they bother you I could try and whittle them down to nothing, over time that is._

_Once again, I apologize, my darling friend. I never intended for things to happen like this, I never for you to suffer through my presence. I'm sure sitting next to me must be a chore now._

_I am so terribly sorry._

_With love,  
R.L._

Hazel eyes, filled with unshed tears, looked over the letter she had just composed.

Why, you ask, is Lynne acting as though this is the end of the world?

Well, that is simple. To Lynne it appears that she has just lost something very important and precious. Lynne's lack of proper social experience has led her to believe that she is very undesirable, a plague if you will.

The only people she has ever loved rejected her when they found out what she is, why should this be any different?

Lynne's world was very small, consisting of herself, her books, and Remus. Losing Remus would be a monumental change.

Although she had never actually conversed with him, he was always in her thoughts. She was always thinking up things she would like to share with him, hopefully making his day a little brighter.

Sighing, Lynne stood to go fetch her owl.

"_So, this is goodbye?"_ she thought dejectedly.

xXxXxXxXxXxX

"When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us."

--Alexander Graham Bell.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Thank you for all of your wonderful reviews =] they mean a lot to me.

I do not own Harry Potter or its Characters.

XxXxXxxxXxXxx

"So you've been getting letters for how long?" James asked with wonder in his voice.

"About six and a half years." Remus answered softly, still slightly uncomfortable discussing his one and only secret. Something's are just hard to talk about.

"Wow." James whistled "That's amazing." He said smiling broadly.

Sirius nodded in agreement, opting to let James do all of the talking since his approach only made Remus turn red and clamp up—unbelievable, right?

"Yes, well, what happens now?" Remus's voice held some worry.

"You guys, what happens if I end up fancying her?" His voice now held desperation.

James and Sirius exchanged unsure glances. Personally they both thought that Remus needed a girl, deserved one even.

"Aw, Mooney, any girl you end up with will be extremely lucky. You know that mate." Sirius said, forgetting his temporary vow of silence.

Remus rolled his eyes in frustration.

"Have you forgotten what I am?" he asked harshly.

James opened his mouth to try and placate Remus but Sirius's annoyed voice rose above whatever James was going to say.

"And? So what if you have a furry little problem? She already knows about it, she's been your friend for longer than us. And you have to go and act like she is going to turn her back on you! I just don't get why you won't let yourself be happy for Merlin's sake."

With a huff Sirius crossed his arms and turned to pout at the wall. Sirius didn't like seeing Remus act all depressed but he hated it when Remus would start acting all self-pitying. Honestly, the only reason he didn't have or do things that made him happy was because he refused to accept them. It drove Sirius insane.

Remus's honey colored eyes stared at his pouting friend, indecision reflected on his face.

What Sirius said was nothing more than the truth; all three boys knew it too. Remus simply refused to openly accept it.

"Yes, well I do—" Remus's angered voice was cut off by a persistent tap at the dorm window. All the occupants of the room froze before looking towards it. Had she written again? What did it say? And for that matter, what about the long forgotten letter in James's robes?

Remus quickly rose to open the window for the messenger owl. Probably still afraid that James would once again take his precious letters.

Hooting soft the tiny fluffy brown owl dropped the letter in Remus's waiting hands before flying off into the dark night.

"Well, are you going to read it?" Sirius asked, still facing the wall. Pride refused to let him turn and look curiously.

He carefully opened the letter before seating himself on his bed to read his newest letter. His face began to pale as his honey eyes scanned the letter with an ever quickening pace.

Upon finishing the letter he quickly stood, threw the letter onto his gold and red bedspread, and stormed out of the dormitory.

To where, James and Sirius did not know.

Instead of following like they normally would, the overwhelming pull of the discarded letter captured their attention as they quickly scrambled to read it.

_Dear Remus,_

_ I am apologizing for the awful mess I've made of things. I'm afraid I've mucked everything up quite nicely. I am unsure of your reaction to all of this, and to be frank I am terrified of your reaction._

_ I suppose I should also apologize for hiding away for the weekend and ignoring this situation. I am sure that is not what you had hoped for, or maybe it was. Suddenly I find myself unsure of everything that involves you or is even remotely related to you._

_ As I have previously disclosed, you are my only friend. It breaks my heart to think that I have lost my dearest friend. But I would understand if it has to be this way…_

_ Even if it is so, and I hate to ask this of you, it must seem trivial, would you mind if I continued sending letter and chocolates…You don't have to read them or eat my treats. They have just been such a constant in my life I do not believe that I could stop cold turkey…I suppose if they bother you I could try and whittle them down to nothing, over time that is._

_Once again, I apologize, my darling friend. I never intended for things to happen like this, I never for you to suffer through my presence. I'm sure sitting next to me must be a chore now._

_I am so terribly sorry._

_With love,  
R.L._

"Well, at least we know what's bothering him now…" Sirius finished lamely. James nodded, slightly baffled by this odd letter.

"Maybe she feels the same way about herself that Remus feels about himself?" Sirius mused aloud.

"I mean, she acts like now that he knows who she is he'll want nothing to do with her…" his rambling thoughts drifted off into the silence of his head.

Without warning James hoped off his bed, slammed his fist into his hand, harboring a determined look in his eyes.

"I think you know what we need to do, Sirius." He said boldly.

Sirius's storm grey eyes shined with a similar determination, with a knowing smile, and a nod of his head, James and he quickly huddled together, whispering back and forth about their newest mission.

xXxXxxxxXxXxX

The students in the great hall were grumbling softly amongst themselves. Half of the students couldn't safely be called awake, trudging around in their dazed stupor.

James, Sirius, and Peter were included in these numbers. James had his head resting on his hand, slipping every so often threatening to dive into his warm porridge but never fully committing.

Sirius sat slumped on the bench staring at his glass of pumpkin juice with the glazed look he wore often in History of Magic—the look that bespoke of vacancy in the head and possible loss of bodily control, resulting in drooling every once in a while.

Peter seemed the most defeated; simply laying his head on the table trying vainly to catch a few more minutes of the ever illusive sleep.

This was the regular Monday morning mood, coming like clockwork at the beginning of every week, disappearing slowly as the day moved on.

The mood that possessed one Remus Lupin was far from normal. His back was ramrod straight as he stared intently at the Hufflepuff table. He was unsure of what he was going to do when she did come down to breakfast, maybe he would do nothing, maybe he would go and ask to speak to her.

He did not know, but he assumed that when he saw her he would somehow know which course of action to take.

"_If I don't talk to her this morning, I can still corner her in Herbology. If she shows, that is."_

His mind thought stringently while his face showed no outward emotion.

To be absolutely honest Lynne's last letter really hurt Remus. There he was believing that he had finally figured out who his strange pen pal and now they could be friends in real life too. No he was not planning on making her his significant other, but he had been planning on becoming great friends with her--Someone to talk to when his friends abandoned him, as they unknowingly, but frequently, do.

But no, things did not seem to be going that way. Not even three hours after her abrupt explanation of who she was and why she did the things she did, she sends a letter acting as though his knowledge of her identity will ruin their strange form of friendship.

Remus was confused, confused and hurt—never a good combination. But Remus Lupin was going to get answers come hell or high water.

Remus was so intensely watching the Hufflepuff table he did not hear the slight shuffling taking place behind him or the sudden looks of coherency that passes across James and Sirius's faces. Peter was still dead to the world.

A light tap on the shoulder ripped Remus from his staring match with the adjacent table. Turning around mildly disgruntled, his honey brown eyes widened as he took in the form of the girl he had been watching for. She seemed extremely nervous, her eyes shifting quickly around the room, never quite settling on Remus.

"Lynne!" Sirius exclaimed happily, all traces of sleepiness vanished. Three sets of eyes flashed towards the suddenly cheerful boy. James surprised, Remus wary, and Lynne fearful.

"What a pleasant surprise! Here, here, sit, have breakfast with us. Remus, scoot over would you?" He said over excitedly, scaring the surrounding people with his unnatural exuberance.

"Actually, I was only coming to see if I could talk to Remus for a moment." Her silky voice drifted softly over the three boys.

She had torn her eyes from Sirius's face and was staring assiduously at the stone floor, not daring to look up at the faces she knew were staring at her. She was positive that the majority of the great hall was looking at her fidgety form—she was talking to The Marauders, people constantly in the spot light, no matter where they were.

Remus sent a glance to his friends before fluidly standing.

"Here, we can talk somewhere more private." He said reassuringly, taking her hand and quickly leading her out of the great hall.

Lynne still stared at the floor, while Remus was looking resolutely at the doors—neither noticing the grinning faces of Sirius and James, or the curious looks held by the occupants of the great hall. The headmaster even seemed to hold a small amount of interest; a twinkle appeared in his clear blue eyes while his lips twitched up ever so slightly.

XXxXxXxXxXxXxx

"You did what?" James demanded.

"I didn't _do_ anything, prongs. All that happened was that I sent Lynne a letter saying that Remus wanted to talk to her…I didn't even pretend that Remus wrote it, I signed my name and everything!" Sirius whined.

James huffed and rolled his eyes. Sirius always was a busy body.

"Besides you know she probably would have never approached him on her own, and he would have taken too long. I'm all for dramatic stuff happening but I don't like waiting." Sirius explained.

Translation: Sirius was just trying to help and get this odd situation settled as quickly as possible.

James gave Sirius a pointed look "You better hope everything goes well, or Remus will be extremely put out with you."

With a shrug and a smile, Sirius dismissed James's warning and started avidly eating his previously ignored breakfast.

XXxxxXXxxX

Lynne still wasn't looking him in the eyes; it was starting to both worry and annoy Remus. He knew he wasn't as good looking as Sirius and James, but he wasn't _that_ bad.

"So..." he drawled hesitantly. Her hazel eyes quickly darted to his before shooting away again.

Shuffling her feet slightly she finally found the courage to speak.

"Sirius sent me a letter saying that I, that we, should talk…" her voice barely above a whisper. A small improvement, her eyes were still darting around frantically. Lynne was apparently not very comfortable with confrontation, not that Remus was much better.

"He did, did he?" His voice sounded surprised, his eyes showed slight annoyance. Of course Sirius would find a way to get involved…he made a fine art out of being involved in everyone's life in one way or another.

With a small nod her eyes slowly drifted towards his tense face.

"I'm sorry…I'm not sure…well, that is…I haven't talked to an actual person in such a long time." She blurted, turning red with embarrassment and looking quickly away.

Remus struggled not to laugh at her, she was cute when nervous. Swiftly shaking his head he tried to rid himself of his traitorous thoughts, they plagued him often.

"Lynne, look at me." He said softly but firmly. When she did not, he grabbed both of her hands, clasping them in his own. Remus did not know why her avoidance of his eyes bothered him so, but he did not care too much about the reason.

She quickly flushed red, her breath catching at the contact. Her eyes flashed to his, but before she could look away again he began to speak again.

"I am not sure why you think that I would ever want you to stop being my friend, but please don't. I honestly do not think I could handle losing my oldest friend." He said sincerely, looking directly in her wide, surprised eyes.

When she did not speak, he continued.

"I was actually hoping that we could…" his eyes flashed from hers to the floor, hesitation evident in his body language.

"Well, I was hoping that we could become even better friends." He finished resolutely, not meeting her confused gaze.

"Why?" was her response. It wasn't accusing or angry, it appeared as a simple query and nothing more. The answered would be that thing that held actual depth and consequence.

It threw Remus off kilter, his conflicted eyes finally meeting her guarded ones. Did she not trust him? Wasn't it logical to think that they would become better friends upon this recent development?

"P-pardon me?" He stuttered, unsure as to what was transpiring between them. It certainly was not as cut and dry and he would have like.

Removing her hands from his warm, comforting grasp she wrapped her arms around her waist in a self given hug, as if to protect herself.

"Why now? Yes, you know who I am now. But I've always been here haven't I? Why now are you showing interest? I mean you've never written back. I always assumed that you tolerated my occasional presence, nothing more. Up until now, you have never showed an ounce of outward interest in furthering our odd relationship…I just figured you accepted my gifts more for my benefit than for yours…it's never been portrayed any different. Has it?"

Remus's face was blank. The idea of writing back was a novel one, and it had apparently never occurred to him that it was possible. But as he thought of it he saw how she might conclude his apathy towards her. All he would have to do is go up and find the little fluffy brown owl he knew rather well and send it back to her.

"I suppose not. But in my defense the idea or writing back had honestly never crossed my mind…" he replied lamely.

A small smile appeared on Lynne's pretty lips and a glimmer of humor was reflecting in her hazel eyes. The idea of Remus Lupin being stumped when it comes to replying to a letter was amusing one, considering his well known intelligence.

"So you really do like the letters and chocolate?" she asked quietly, a hopeful lilt in her voice.

"Heavens yes, Lynne! Your letters mean more to me then they probably should." He replied, flushing red at the last part. His brain had apparently decided to give up on the whole "think before you speak" system. Surely there was mutiny afoot, both in his head and his heart. It must be contagious.

The smile that spread across her face seemed to light up the unused classroom they were standing in. Maybe mutiny was good thing if this was the reward.

"Well, then I suppose that we can try and be friends…" She said, still smiling, but her hesitation was very apparent.

Remus opened his mouth to say something but was quickly cut off by the classroom door flinging open.

"Oye, you two lovebirds, we have to go to class now. You're lucky I remembered about you two, I was half way to class when James mentioned you guys." Sirius said, happy as can be.

When neither of them moved, most likely still recovering from the near bout of having a heart attack, Sirius marched right between them swung his arms around their shoulders and merrily led the stunned duo towards the DADA classroom, which Gryffindor had with Ravenclaw, not Hufflepuff .

Realizing this little tad bit of knowledge Lynne clumsily removed herself from Sirius's strangely relaxing hold causing both boys to look towards her questioning.

"I-I h-have potions right now…I-it's the other w-way." She quietly explained, quickly hurrying away from their amused gazes.

XXxXxXxXxXx

"Behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was something tragic."

--Oscar Wilde (one of my favorite authors)

P.s: I know I've already said this, but I've gotten more reviews since the beginning and the end of this chapter. THANK YOU EVERYONE!!! I don't think I've ever felt as flattered as I do now. It's silly I know but I actually hold the meager amounts of reviews I have as a great success =]

My Reviewers are the most wonderful people in the world! Hugs and kiss for everyone! *drifts off into a happy daze*


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Thank you soooo much for all of the Reviews. I'm not sure how long this story is going to be, BUT I will acknowledge every single one of my reviewers in the last chapter =] (I honestly don't believe this will story will take much longer, maybe till chapter 10?) Anyways, onto chapter 6!

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The smooth aroma of melted chocolate wafted through the kitchens as the ever dutiful house elves rushed about cooking a myriad of different foods, but none of their foods fragrance could overpower the smell of the boiling chocolate.

Humming softly Lynne kept a close eye on her current concoction, it was almost done and it would be slightly embarrassing if she burnt it. After all, Lynne should be somewhat of a chocolatier considering all of her experience.

Smiling to herself she couldn't help keep her thoughts from wandering to a certain sandy haired boy. Their friendship hadn't really grown that much; they hardly saw each outside of class. Aside from sitting next to each other in Herbology and a few shy smiles exchanged in the hallways and the great hall their contact had been limited.

But tonight was a full moon and Lynne had something special in mind for Remus. Tonight, or more accurately this morning, Lynne was going to personally deliver the chocolate and letters. In truth, Lynne knew that he probably wouldn't even be coherent, transforming into a werewolf is quite an exhausting ordeal after all, but she still felt that he would appreciate the company. Even if she was only there for a short while.

Pulling free from her thoughts Lynne swiftly put all of her attention into perfecting the last steps of her chocolate. As soon as she finished with this she was going to finish her letter.

Never before had Lynne been so happy about the full moon.

But then again, it wasn't the full moon that Lynne was happy about at all, that certain sandy haired boy aforementioned had much more to do with Lynne's happiness than she cared to admit.

XXxXxXxXxXxX

The hospital room was silent except for the raspy breathing of its only occupant. The sky was in its state between nighttime and dawn, that murky mixture of clouds, darkness, and pastel colors of sunrise.

The white sheets that covered Remus's prone figure were bothering him. They always bothered him. They were itchy and stiff, probably from over starching—although Remus had no idea how the wizarding world even caught wind of the idea of starching their linens.

Huffing in annoyance Remus did his best to find a more comfortable position, but it was all in vain. Surely there was a charm to make these blasted things more suitable for patients, it was hard to recover and get rest when it felt as though one was lying on a bed of rocks.

The silence of the room was broken by the grumbling of his stomach. Patting it sympathetically he said "some chocolate would be very appreciated right about now."

"Well, then I've come just in time it seems." Lynne said, scaring the living pee out of Remus. He hadn't heard her come, nor had he expected her to come in person. But it was a pleasant surprise.

"Lynne, what are you doing up at this hour?" Concern leaking into his quiet voice. Even James, Sirius, and Peter had gone to bed by now.

"Visiting you of course; Although, I expected you to be asleep right now. I don't imagine full moons leave you with bundles of energy, now do they?" She whispered, silently coming to stand closer to his bed.

"No, they really don't. But these beds are the most uncomfortable contraptions known to wizarding kind." He replied smiling gently with a strangely tender look in his eyes.

Lynne's gaze slowly traveled around the room, searching for something. Frowning when she completed her gaze's circuit she settled her pretty eyes on Remus's face.

"Are there no chairs in the medical ward?"

Quirking an eyebrow Remus promptly scanned the room, also searching for the nonexistent chairs. It would appear that visiting was discouraged here.

"I guess not. Here, sit there." Remus finally replied, moving to sit up and cross his legs.

Lynne hoped that the semidarkness would conceal the blush that was over taking her face. Crawling gently onto the warm mattress, Lynne took up a mirror position of Remus.

"Oh, here, these are for you." She said pleasantly, the smile upon her lips seemed contagious, forcing Remus to grin in return.

Remus graciously took the gifts from her, their fingers brushed for a split second, but while both were highly aware of the contact there was no outward acknowledgement.

Quickly unwrapping the parcel that contained the precious chocolate Remus happily popped a small piece into his mouth.

Sighing in contentment he spoke.

"I do not know how you do it Lynne, but I swear your chocolate is better than Honeydukes."

Laughing softly, she replied.

"Actually it is Honeydukes; it only tastes better because it is fresh. Mr. Thaven, the owner of Honeydukes, has been my friend and mentor rolled into one. I think he secretly plans on me coming to work for him once I graduate."

"I thought I was your only friend." Remus said play pouting.

Looking out the window towards the ever brightening sky, Lynne took a few moments to form her reply. Her eyes settled on his with surprising intensity.

"There are many forms of friendship Remus. I like to believe the kind we have is true friendship. The kind I have with Mr. Thaven is really nothing more than a frequent acquaintance. I am sure that he would be sad to see me leave, but I would quickly pass from his thoughts. I like to think that when you and I part, I will linger in your thoughts."

There were moments when Lynne seemed like a naïve child, her eyes often held wonder and amazement at the things transpiring around her. But then there were other moments.

Moments such as this one, where Lynne seemed fully aware of how the world works and the cruel truths it lives by. These moments were generally portrayed to Remus in the forms of her letters; it was unsettling when they happened in real life.

"But let's not think of that now. You look like you're about to drop dead asleep." She broke in through his silence with a small caring smile.

Climbing off his bed Lynne hesitated next to him, unsure of how to depart. Saying goodnight and waving seemed a little too careless, but all of the other options floating through her head seemed quite too forward.

She was pulled from her indecision when a pair of unexpectedly strong arms wrapped her in a tight hug. Relaxing almost immediately in his grasp she firmly hugged him back. Neither Lynne nor Remus had the luxury of human contact very often, so this was a wonderful reprieve.

"Mm, Hugs are wonderful." Lynne said happily, before pulling away and quietly departing; leaving Remus with a dreamy smile on his face.

XXxXxXxXxXxX

Millions and millions of years would still not give me half enough time to describe that tiny instant of all eternity when you put your arms around me and I put my arms around you. ~Jacques Prévert

XXxXxXxX

A/N: Sorry this is so short and at took a day or two longer than I wanted. Its finals week, so updates will be slow. I tried to keep this one fairly well written, but I wasn't that focused, so let me know if it needs rewriting.

All the love in the world to my lovely reviewers =]


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: *Crying bitterly* you guys…I didn't get a 90% on my Intermediate Accounting Final I got an 86%, so I have an 89% in the class. SOOOOOO close, but NOoOo, I had to go and miss one more question than I should have. *Bangs head on wall* Anyway I suppose I will quit boring you, my precious reader, to death and continue with chapter seven. I know I said there wouldn't be many updates because of finals, but after that semi epic failure, I could give a flying monkey's bum.

XXxXxXxXxXxXxX

The seventh year boys' dormitory was relatively empty, only one out of four of its occupants were polluting its space. The word 'polluting' was employed in the prior sentence because the air was filled with a noxious odor; it drifted off of the lone tenant in what seemed a never ending torrent of stink.

How did this come to be, you ask?

Who was the lone smelly boy?

Well, to answer both inquiries: Sirius Black smelled about as sour as last week's expired milk and the cause was a prank gone wrong. Frankly, it was not a prank gone wrong, but Peter's lack of talent regarding anything remotely magical, that caused Sirius's current malodorous fragrance.

His fellow marauders had tried to endure his present situation, but it was all for naught. Showers, reversal spells, and muggle perfume had done nothing but intensify its potency. It would have been jolly good laugh had it happened to a Slytherin, regrettably it was not so.

And thus Sirius had been exiled to the solitude of the dormitory after being shoved out of any room whose occupants had a working sense of smell.

"What to do, what to do?" He mused, extremely bored. He had already rummaged through Peter and James's trunks, but found nothing to be entertained by.

He had yet to poke around Remus's trunk. Some warped form of a conscience reminded him that Remus took his privacy rather seriously. Unfortunately for Remus, the little sense that Sirius possessed of right and wrong was quickly being deteriorated by boredom.

His storm grey eyes leisurely sidled over to Remus's unassuming trunk, he could feel the irresistible pull of the forbidden egging him on. Surely one little, tiny, insignificant peak would bring no harm.

And so, the battle between good and evil, right and wrong, life and death…well, not life and death, but morality and wickedness had been lost. Wickedness triumphed that night, unhindered by the accusing gazes of his absent peers.

Sirius hopped off of his bed and quickly knelt beside the innocent trunk, he looked around the room suspiciously but was reassured when he saw nothing out of the ordinary. Lifting the trunk's lid he sat peering at the illicit goods spread before his curious gaze.

"Hmm, Chocolate, Quills…books…more books…more chocolate…random sock. Well, hello, what are you?"

His mumblings were cut short once he came across a tightly bundled package of letter. He sent another furtive glance around the room before he lifted the letters out of the trunk.

He knew he shouldn't…honestly, he did. It is a regrettable flaw in Sirius's character but nosiness has always been a very prominent trait for him. He was, however, blessed with abnormal intellect. Using aforementioned intellect Sirius locked the door and charmed it to alert him to approaching people.

It was one thing to snoop, it was quite another to be caught snooping.

"September 1971 to…November 1977." Whistling lowly Sirius's eyebrows rose to his hair line. It appears that Lynne had indeed written every full moon for the past six years.

"Let's see, 12 months a year, by six years…plus two for October and November and the extra two she recently sent. Holy cheese's there's about 76 letters here!" he said astonished. Sirius Black had a bad habit of talking to himself, for whatever reason.

"Well, might as well get started." He told himself cheerily. Had Remus been in the room he would have been horrified at the prospect of Sirius reading something so personal and slightly worried about Sirius's health. Sirius had a tendency to avoid reading like the plague, or that was how it seemed to the outside world.

But what the outside world, and even his closest friends, saw of Sirius Black was only what Sirius Black wanted them to see. In a way Sirius was more secretive than Remus, the only difference was the method Sirius used to ensure his privacy.

Sirius purposely portrayed himself shallowly. No one bothers to delve beneath shallowness because, logically speaking, there is nothing to delve into. Shallowness is the antonym of depth in most cases. In the case of Sirius Black, shallowness is a clever deception.

If someone truly wanted to know the intensity and profoundness that is Sirius Black they should have to wade through the shallow waters of his mind before being rewarded with insightfulness. At least that is what Sirius believed.

Only James had seen glimpses of depth in Sirius, and only at when Sirius was undergoing a difficult situation, such as running away from home, or being confronted with by Regulus about family dramas.

The façade ran very deep for Sirius. But true to the Black House's way of life, deception and charade were used to protect oneself. Sometimes it is impossible to completely escape one's heritage.

_March 8__th__ 1974_

_Happy Early Birthday Remus! I've made you an extra batch of chocolates as a present, since I don't know you well enough to give you anything else._

_I've noticed that you and your friends have become increasingly edgy with each other. I hope everything is well? Please keep in mind that not all people have such a wonderful set of friends, regardless of whatever silly or immature thing they are planning try and keep an open mind._

_I doubt that they would ever mean you harm, from what I have seen they only seem to mean Severus Snape ill. I don't understand why though, surely he catches enough flack from his house mates._

_Where you aware that he is one of the only half bloods in Slytherin? He hides it well, but the way his other housemates interact with him reveals it all._

_Anyway, I don't suppose you want to read my inner thoughts on Severus Snape, do you? _

_I hope you don't take this the wrong way, I know it is not my place to even suggest this, but since it is a letter and you cannot silence me I shall continue to say I think you should find a girlfriend…_

_I've seen the way you stare at that pretty Ravenclaw girl, Lucile Anvers, I believe. I've also seen the way she stares at you. My confusion spurs from the fact that you and her have yet to canoodle together._

_I think you guys would make a darling couple =]_

_But I suppose that I am nothing more than symbols on a page to you, and why then should you listen to anything I say?_

_With bundles of love, and double the normal chocolate,_

_R.L._

Sirius tilted his head in thought; fourth year was when they first came up with the idea of becoming illegal anamagius. They had indeed been bickering back and forth, Remus thought it too risky, James and he thought it was too risky not to, and Peter had little to no opinion.

If memory served Sirius correctly, Remus did start dating Lucile Anvers a couple weeks after his birthday. It was one of his only girl relationships in his history at Hogwarts. The other was with Lilly Evans, but that was strictly platonic.

Several letters later Sirius came across a very interesting one.

_June 12__th__, 1976_

_Hello my wonderful friend,_

_I am afraid that I have some despairing news for you. Since the end of the school year has just recently drawn to a close, my resources have been unfortunately placed outside of my grasp. My immediate future is rather uncertain, and as such I will try adamantly to keep up with the letters and chocolates, but do not begrudge me if I miss one or am tardy._

_In keeping with the rather untactful trend of insecurity I will only be able to provide you with store bought chocolates._

_Something that I truly despise, for five years I have not given store bought chocolate, with the exception of the first one ever. It bothers me deeply to do so now._

_I hope your friends are with you tonight, you always seemed less exhausted after the full moons when they accompanied you. Then again, companionship lessens any burden exponentially._

_And please, do not spazz out on me. You should know by now that I do not announce people's secrets to the public. I have not done so with you, I will not do so with James, Sirius, and Peter._

_In case you are wondering, the nicknames were what tipped me off. But I do not think that other people will catch on, except perhaps Severus…he shows exceptional suspicion of you four. The only reason I figured it out was because I've known of your 'furry little problem' as they term it, and Mooney was just a wee bit obvious._

_I am afraid my candle is burning itself out. Please excuse the abrupt ending._

_With love always._

_R.L._

Sirius frowned upon finishing the letter. The more he read, the more intrigued he became. Lynne Lurse was not the run of the mill Hufflepuff.

In Sirius's opinion she wrote like a Ravenclaw, Hufflepuffs were not known for their book smarts. Then again Lynne did not seem like she belonged in Hufflepuff. He felt she had too much depth to be cast in with the Huffles.

In fact, Sirius found himself wishing that Lynne was Gryffindor so he could go and question her about her 'uncertain' future. What could have caused it? How did she handle it? Was her future still uncertain, or was that resolved?

Sirius glanced around, he had been reading for several hours, yet no one had come close to approaching the door. With a shrug he decided to read one more before seeking out society.

_September 27__th__, 1977_

_Dearly beloved,_

_We are starting our seventh and final year at Hogwarts. Both trepidation and anticipation have taken root deep inside. Fear because, well, I am unsure of life outside of these stone walls. I am exceptionally talented at anything magic, grades support that. But what does that matter when the wizarding world is highly prejudiced against those 'different' than them?_

_I know this must be annoying for you to read, considering the view they take on your disposition. And please do not resent me for the following thoughts._

_Sometimes I wish I had an ailment or disfiguration, something, anything to explain rejection I have experienced with the Wizarding world. The true reason does completely escape me._

_I have tried to be friendly with the others; you would think this to be at least somewhat successful considering who I house with. But even they spurn me._

_I sometimes wonder if there is a mark upon my head, invisible to me, but very blatant to them, that denotes my oddity. But perhaps I am destined to be lonely._

_Maybe fate has plans for me that I am unaware of, plans that could not be fulfilled were I to have friends._

_But I find it much more likely that Fate simply despises me and chooses to revel in my aggravation with life. To be honest, if I did not have you, my darling friend, I feel that I would be completely shut off from both the wizarding and muggle worlds._

_And what then—do I disappear? Should I be so lucky? Or would I simply continue floating through life, physically visible but mentally unseen?_

_But I suppose that it does not matter. Fate will do as she pleases, and I am powerless against her._

_Pardon my melancholy thoughts, I am sure that your own plague you often enough and do not need the weight of mine upon your mind._

_Love always,_

_R.L._

Sirius folded the letter in the manner he had found the others before replacing them meticulously where he had discovered them.

Silence had long overtaken the room, but in his daze of deep thought, he had neither the will nor the desire to break it.

Perhaps a walk was in order.

XXxXxXxXxXxXxX

The night life was buzzing around Lynne with its normal cadence. The fireflies that drifted on the night's breeze blinked in and out of existence at will as the predatory birds of darkness flew silently overhead, scanning for unsuspecting rodents.

The November air was chilled but snow had yet to blanket the world's frozen surface. Puffs of hot air rose from around Lynne with each breath she exhaled. She was currently wandering around the school grounds trying desperately to soak up the last few moments of her Sunday night.

The heating charm she had learned in her second year was one of the most useful and practical charms she had ever discovered, that and the shrinking charm. Wizards, they think of everything.

It was the same heating charm that was allowing her to be wandering around Hogwarts in nothing but her muggle t-shirt and jeans.

She may be a wizard by blood, but she was a muggle by heart and mind. Perhaps that is why her peers rejected her; then again perhaps they were just close-minded simpletons that discriminated against people different from them because they did not understand the difference.

Fear, it would seem, is the cause of all of Lynne's problems.

Sighing heavily she did not notice the figure approaching her hesitantly.

"Lynne? Is that you?" the voice called out to her through the darkness, slicing through her musings on discrimination.

She paused to turn and see who summoned her, curiosity openly displayed on her pale round face. Not many people in school actually knew her name, or so she figured with how little it was used.

"Yes? Can I help you?" She replied peering into the night air, trying vainly to decipher who was steadily approaching her. The distance and the darkness made it impossible to see exactly who was encroaching on her solitude. All she could discern was that the person was male, but she knew that but the voice.

Imagine her shock when the figure drew close enough for her to recognize the handsome face of Sirius Black. Why on earth would he bother talking to her?

"What are you doing wandering around without a jacket missy? It's barely above freezing out here!" Sirius said stopping about three feet away from her motionless form.

Laughing lightly Lynne sent a small smile Sirius's direction before resuming her wandering.

"It always amazes me that wizards have created a charm or spell for everything, but most of the wizarding world becomes oblivious to their existence when it comes to practical application. I have a heating charm in effect Sirius."

Her serene voice drifted smoothly over her shoulder to Sirius as he hurried to fall into step beside her. A bark of laughter escaped Sirius's mouth at her response.

"Fair enough Miss Lynne, fair enough." He replied smiling kindly at her profile.

The two walked in silence for a few minutes. His tall frame making her average height seem shorter than she really was.

Sirius's grey eyes took in Lynne's slight form as they walked. She was quite a pretty girl; he wondered how he had overlooked her. She had her wavy brown hair pulled into a high pony tail, a few wisps escaping here and there giving her a very casual air.

Only a few people could pull off the messy haired look with elegance, James was one of them, and it appeared that Lynne was another.

She had her slender arms clasped behind her back as she continued walking peacefully. Her hazel eyes seemed to have an abnormal amount of green flecks in them tonight. The moonlight only seemed to heighten her paleness and enhance the dark lashes that were framing her eyes. Her rosy pink lips were settled into a content smile. The overall effect was quite exotic.

Sirius had never been that big fan of muggle clothing, but then again he had never seen someone wear them quite as well as Lynne did. They seemed to fit snuggly, but not tightly, showing off her supple curves that were generally hidden behind robes.

All in all Sirius approved, quite vehemently actually.

"So Sirius, what brings you to my company this evening? I would figure prank planning would be in order, tomorrow is Monday after all."

She said pulling him from his thoughts on her appearance. Her side-long glance seemed to pierce through his gaze, as though she knew exactly what he had been doing.

"We were planning, but then Peter messed up and now I smell like a skunk." He said frowning, before turning his head and pouting towards the stars above.

Another soft giggle drew his attention back to earth and the girl he was currently walking with.

"I was wondering if that was you. Would you like me to get rid of it for you?" She paused, bringing out her wand, waiting for his answer.

"Spells, showers, and perfumes don't work. They only make it worse." He said stopping and crossing his arms sulking.

She hummed softly to herself, waving her wand in a figure eight before abruptly flicking it to the side. And just like that the smell disappeared.

"Wow! What did you do? Not even Remus could make it go away." He said as they resumed walking, a bounce in his step and a grin on his face.

"Scorgify. Not many people know it also cleans spells off of a body. It's very effective." She said her gaze traveling to the black lake where the giant squid was currently trying to snag at the owl flying overhead.

"Hey Lynne, can I ask you something?" Sirius asked somewhat hesitantly. When her placid eyes landed on his, he struggled to keep her gaze. Sometimes her eyes were more unnerving than exotic.

"Of course, ask away." Was her reply, eyes still locked on his.

"Well, I was wondering…about Remus and you. I don't think I understand your guys relationship." He finished, proud that he had kept her gaze while asking his question. It felt like he had accomplished a great feat.

The smile that took hold of her mouth was one that Sirius had never seen on her face. It spoke of both unrequited love and intense sorrow. But despite the bizarre emotions it displayed it was eerily beautiful.

"I wish I knew. I know how I feel, but Remus is so private about his feelings I can only guess at them. Up until recently I believed that he cared very little for me or my presence in his life. I still believe that from time to time." Her wistful smile twisted itself into a small frown at the thought.

"He has told me that I have actually been very important to him since day one. I can see it in his eyes that he means it, but past experiences prevent me from enjoying his sincerity. Besides, I truly believe that even if he were head over heels in love with me, the kind that make the story books, he would never tell me."

An ironic smile had taken hold of her lips as she turned to look Sirius straight in the face. Sirius's face was one of contemplation.

"Do you want him to love you?" was his question that sprung from his lips before his mind could stop it. He figured that Lynne would turn red and clamp up like Remus did whenever he blurted out personal questions like that. To his surprise she only smiled wider.

"Love, you say? There are many different types of love, as I am sure you know. If you are meaning romantically I would have to say no. Remus would be miserable if he were in love with me. I would never wish that upon him. If you are meaning the platonic love, that families share, I would have to say no once again."

Her answered both shocked and slightly appalled Sirius.

"I don't think I understand." He said quietly. Her smile of reassurance did nothing to calm his nerves.

"Do you know what love is Sirius?" She asked him, staring him dead in the eyes.

"Of course I know what love is!" He said back quickly and somewhat loudly.

"What is it to you then?" she prodded. He was feeling increasingly uneasy with this conversation, his gut told him he was not going to like her answers.

"Well…love is between two people. It is the strongest emotion in the world; it brings happiness to life and gives a person a purpose. When you're in love you would do anything to make the other person happy." He answered resolutely. Sirius was a closet romantic it would seem.

Her bell like laughter made his stomach squirm a little, what was wrong with his answer?

"If only. And I hope that is how love is for you Sirius, I truly do. But that is not the love I know. Love is nothing but pain and anguish, it is a guise for strong emotions that have no purpose existing. Love is essentially no different than hate." Her answer upset Sirius deeply.

"How can you say that? Don't you love Remus? I know that's how you sign your letters. Do you hate him as well?" was his angry rebuttal.

The sigh that escaped her calmed Sirius's anger somewhat.

"I know it may seem odd to you. But yes I do both love and hate Remus, and that is because love and hate are the same thing. The overwhelming sensation that wells up in your chest and makes you feel like you are going to start bubbling strange sounds from your mouth as the feeling literally forces itself from your innermost soul to be heard by the outside world, is that the one you call love?"

At his nod, she continued.

"And when you are angry, so infuriated that you are shaking, don't you feel the same sensation working its way through your veins. And you get the impression that your blood is boiling from the heat of your anger. It boils and boils until strange sounds of frustration fall from your mouth. Is that what you call hate?"

When he nodded again she actually smiled at him again.

"Well, don't you see?" the confusion that showed in his eyes blatantly told her he did not.

"Feelings, they have no title, they are feelings. The way they affect you ranges from small to unstoppable, the only thing that defines them is the words we have been taught to attach to them. According to the way it affects you, love and hate have to be the same. It is only by morals and experiences that we claim whether one is hate or love. Why do you think it is so easy for love to turn to hate?"

"Does the lover murder his cheating partner out of love or hate?" she asked him, pinning him with a serious gaze.

"Uh, I'm not sure." Was Sirius's soft reply. Poor Sirius just had his mental world flipped upside down, no, she didn't change the way he viewed things. But he could see her point, and he wished that it didn't make as much sense as it did. It was so dismal.

"Besides, for every good there is a bad—for every positive a negative—and in the end life is a zero balance equation. " As Lynne settled into silence Sirius had only one more question.

"Lynne?"

"Hmmm?"

"Who taught you that last part? The zero balance equation?" It sounded familiar, but he couldn't place where he had heard it before.

A sardonic smile flashed briefly across her lips.

"Muggle Accounting." Was her short reply.

He stared at her incredulously before laughter started to bubble up inside, slowly escaping his lips. It grew until it was a boisterously spreading through the night sky. Lynne's soft giggle could be heard intertwined with his laugh.

The cadence of the night had a new melody.

XXxXxXxXX

A/N: Sorry if this chapter was too philosophical. It's late and these are the musings that roll around my head at night. If it just completely does not fit with the story, let me know and I will revise it.

Loves, loves, loves for my readers. =]


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Well it is officially over *sniffles* my junior year has ended. Finals are done *happy dance* now I only have one more year and then no more college for me!*spazzes out* Anyway, all of your reviews have been wonderful! If it weren't for them I doubt I would update every day. =] on to chapter 8.

XxXxXxxxxXx

The first snowfall happened the second week of December, covering every surface with a powder fluff about six inches deep. The timing was very festive, for classes only had a few days left. While there was still some schooling left to be had the majority of Hogwarts students had mentally checked out.

Among these vacant minded students was one James Potter, festive idiot extraordinaire. Since December first he had been wandering around the castle, charming everything in sight to either sing Christmas tunes or change colors from red to green.

No one quite understood his strange ailment, for surely to be that excited about Christmas at the age of seventeen signifies a mental malady. His friends finally cornered him in the common room one day after he had charmed Remus's face Christmas colors and made Sirius dance and sing 'Have a Holly Jolly Christmas'. Peter had luckily escaped the torment, being away in search of a bathroom.

"It's obvious you're excited for Christmas, but do you think you could celebrate in ways that don't entail involuntary movements of my limbs and vocal chords?" Sirius asked, slightly perturbed. Every once and a while his arms and legs flail, trying to dance again no doubt, and once, when he went to call out to Remus the phrase "Somebody waits for you, kiss her once for me!" came out off pitch and with a weird tempo.

While Remus's face was almost worth the embarrassment, the random phrase bothered Sirius deeply. It didn't help that Lynne flashed through his head when he thought of the meaning behind the unwanted words.

James's eyes flashed with unbridled happiness as he stared at his ominous looking friends.

"I suppose I could cut down on it while here, but you know it's going to get worse when we get home." He said, winking suggestively at Sirius. Sirius's body language changed from annoyed to uncomfortable when James mentioned home.

This caught the attention of both James and Remus. The hesitation that was on Sirius's face said it all.

"You are coming home with me, right?" James asked cautiously. Sirius shuffled his feet, eyes down cast.

"Well, I was actually thinking of spending Christmas here." He trailed off, not looking up. A disgruntled noise escaped James's throat but before the noises could turn into shouting Sirius hastily explained his reasons.

"Don't get me wrong Prongs; I love your family more than my own. Hell, you guys are the closest thing to an actual family I have. But…I don't know. It feels like I'm intruding…like I'm experiencing something I should never know. As much as I love spending time with you guys, it only reminds me of how sour and bitter my own family is. It's hard to be around, that's all."

To say the least, James and Remus were stunned. Rarely did Sirius show somber emotion, and never so vocally. It never occurred to James that Sirius couldn't completely replace the Blacks with the Potters.

A small sigh escaped James before he gave in, a smile over taking his face once more.

"Okay, but you have to tell mum, and you have to visit at least once. Preferably on or around Christmas, if you would be so kind my dancing fellow." James said all cheeriness back in his voice.

Relief flooded Sirius's face. He hadn't expected that to go so well, he was half prepared to have a fight with James. But while James's questioning gaze had returned to its normal content status, Remus's gaze remained calculating, making Sirius uncomfortable.

Surely Remus didn't know the real reason? He couldn't, Sirius had tried very hard to hide it, and Sirius was extremely talented at hiding things.

All the same, Remus's eyes held suspicion for several hours more.

XXxXxXxxxXxX

It was December 15th; all the students were to leave tomorrow. The castle inhabitants would be cut to a mere handful, excluding the teachers. Those that would be left would be outcasts like Lynne, or students who had unfortunately lost their families to the dark lord.

All the same Christmas at Hogwarts was generally a very subdued holiday. It would be decked out no doubt, and it was generally very cozy, but other than the one or two odd couple wandering around hand in hand, Christmas was very much a solitary celebration.

Lynne was currently lying on her bed, waiting for sleep to take her. Tomorrow she was getting up to see Remus off at the train station. She wished that she could go with him and keep him company, to sit with him in his living room sipping hot coco and soak up the holiday cheer.

But she knew it would never be like that for her, and all her wistful daydreaming did nothing but make that fact more stringent in her mind. Sighing petulantly she flipped onto her side, trying to simultaneously find a more comfortable spot and dislodge her pointless thoughts.

Eventually sleep crept into her mind and stole consciousness away.

XXxXxXxXxXxX

Remus stared at his trunk suspiciously, something seemed…off. Everything was in its place; at least he thought it was. He shook his head, dismissing the idea that someone might have rummaged through it. It was probably just Sirius stealing more of his chocolate, nothing more.

Taking one last glance around the room a smile overtook his charming face; Remus couldn't wait to be home. There was nothing better in the world than sleeping in one's own bed and waking up to home cooked meals.

That and Lynne had agreed to come visit him on Christmas Eve. The only downer was the full moon was on Christmas and he wasn't sure if the others were going to be able to sneak away from their families to help.

With happy thoughts filling his head he began his decent to the common room and as soon as he found the others they were heading to the train station.

XXxXxXxXxX

Plumes of grey smoke billowed from the idling train as the dock started to become more and more crowded. A group of four boys stood together waiting for the doors to open so they could board. They were chatting casually about the holidays when an approaching figure caught the eyes of one of the boys.

"Lynne! Lynne, over here!" James shouted, trying to catch her attention over the hustle and bustle of the surrounding people. All four boys turned to watch as she made her way through the crowds.

"Wow, I never knew there were that many of us in Hogwarts." She said exasperated, but the smile on her face told of her inner amusement.

"Well, we're all here now. Are you guys ready?" James asked, scanning the faces of his friends. At the random nod from Remus they set off to find a compartment.

Confusion flashed in Sirius's eyes and before Lynne could follow the other three he grabbed her arm.

"I thought you said you were staying at Hogwarts for the holidays?" His brows drawn down as his lips twisted into a frown.

Lynne looked him rather puzzled, her eyes slightly wide in surprise at his odd behavior.

"I am…but I was going to ride with Remus until we reached Kings Cross. I still need to buy some gifts, and then I was going to apparate back…"She trailed off slowly, still baffled by his sudden demand and man handling.

His face quickly crumbled from unhappiness to embarrassment as he snatched his hand back.

"Oh. I thought you lied to me for a moment." He said gently. Her eyes softened at his response before her lips twisted into a dazzling smile.

"Well, come on now. We don't want to be left behind." She said grabbing his hand and dragging him off the now empty dock and onto the crowded train.

"But I'm staying here this Christmas." He said in protest. She continued her search for the others, turning slightly to cast him a side long glance.

"And? You can ride with us and then apparate back when we get off or you can come shopping with me."

Before he could once again protest the compartment door beside Lynne was whipped open before two strong arms wrapped around her and pulled her in.

"Lynne! I thought I lost you!" James cried dramatically. Excitement made him a little less than intelligent.

"Whatever would Remus have done if I had? He would have killed me you know." He said, releasing her and plopping into the nearest seat. The grin that was stretched across his face looked slightly insane.

Giggling at his dramatics Lynne calmly took a seat next to the red faced Remus.

It was then that Sirius shuffled into the compartment, eliciting an excited reaction from James and a questioning gaze from Remus.

"Padfoot, my man! Did you decide to come home with me?" James asked hopefully. A grin spread across Sirius's face as he took a seat across from Lynne, next to James.

"Nope, Missy over there dragged me aboard before I could escape." He said nodding towards Lynne, who rolled her eyes at his accusation. Remus quirked one eyebrow as small smirk twisted his lips upward.

"Oh, really now?" he said, pinning her with an amused stare. The idea of Sirius being dragged around by the much smaller Lynne was humorous. The blush that rose to her cheeks did not go unnoticed by Remus or Sirius. James was busy harassing poor Peter.

"Yeah, I figured if I had to sit through a train ride with you boys, so did he. Besides, if he wants he can come shopping with me when we get off." She said with a grin.

Being around people had put Lynne it very good spirits.

An odd look entered Remus's eyes but was gone before Lynne could tell what it was

"Are we still on for Christmas eve?" He asked her quietly. Not that he needed to be quiet, Peter was shrieking at James to quit charming his face. When she nodded and smiled tenderly at him he let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding.

With a slightly smug smile on his face, Remus leaned back in his seat sighing contently before pulling out a book.

Sirius may get her for the evening, but he was going to get her for an entire day, all to himself. It did not occur to him that Sirius would be able to seek out her company for the entire winter break, but that is probably for the best.

xXxXxXxXxXxX

"So I figured out what drove the man to kill his cheating lover." Sirius said nonchalantly as he and Lynne wandered around a small book store.

Things had been hectic in their compartment due to James's lack of control, he had somehow managed to transfigure Remus's book into a ferocious, biting Christmas tree, much to his chagrin. They had thanked their lucky stars above when Lilly came to sit with him; she seemed to have the magic ability to calm their retarded friend.

It surprised the boys when Lilly asked Lynne what her name was. They had somehow forgotten that Lynne truly did not generally interact with society—outside of their own little circle, that is. But that, it seemed, only happened because of her connection to Remus. She was slowly growing closer to James and Peter. Sirius and she had a somewhat more solid relationship simply because he actually sought out her company from time to time.

That being said, only Remus received a hug from Lynne on the platform, both of them pulling away cherry faced but radiant. It was obvious to everyone around them that they both had feelings for each other—a fact over looked by both of them, and greatly rejected by Sirius.

But back to the bookstore.

"Hmm, you did? What did you come up with?" She asked, her eyes alight with humor and a smirk on her pretty pink lips. She moved her eyes away from scanning book titles to cast a side-long glance at Sirius, awaiting his answer.

He rolled his eyes at her mock aloofness, a smile gracing his lips as well.

"It was love."

"How do you suppose?"

His brows furrowed in thought, he had it all planned out, but was having issue recalling the exact words he was going to use. He had been absentmindedly watching her as she perused the books in front of her, every so often picking on up and thumbing through it. For a moment he forgot he had even brought the subject up, but was quickly reminded by her inquisitive side glance.

"Well, he loved her so much that he didn't want her to suffer the ordeal of being caught in an affair. Getting caught red handed always makes a person feel guilty, unless you're a Slytherin of course. And so instead of making her endure their break up and society's cruel stares and whispers he makes it so she never has to mess with such things again."

Not as good as the original speech he had planned, but it conveyed the point well enough.

Placing a book back on its shelf she thoughtfully turned to face him her lips pursed in concentration. Shrugging, it appeared that she was conceding.

"Maybe, I can see your point. But I don't think there is any way that we can truly answer that question since we have never killed a cheating lover, or at least I haven't." she said, grinning at the last part casting him a teasing look.

At his bark of laughter she continued her thought.

"Personally I think that they either undergo temporary insanity—all consuming grief and rage at the sudden loss of something so dear and precious, sort of thing. Or that hate drove them to do it. I think when you love someone so intensely and so completely and then have it betrayed out of the blue the only thing that can replace the feeling of love is hate. Kind of like when a light is on, the only thing that comes when it is turned off is darkness."

Shrugging her shoulders once more she threw a chaste smile at him.

"I think I am about done shopping, do you want to get food here or at school?"

"School sounds good, it's free and delicious." He said wiggling his eyebrows in a suggestive manor.

"Okay then let's go find a dark corner so we can disappear." She said rolling her eyes at his behavior.

XXxXxXxXxX

"Err, Lynne…?" Sirius asked, glancing at her in something akin to panic.

"Hmm?" was her only response as they wandered down the street looking for an alley way.

"We haven't been taught how to apparate. That isn't till spring…"

She turned to look at him, an eyebrow cocked in surprise and a calculating look in her eyes.

"I suppose you haven't yet. But I do know how, so as long as you hold onto me and don't do anything too distracting we should be fine." She said noncommittally, obviously not too worried about the situation.

"How do you know? You do have your license right?" a note of panic had somehow seeped into his voice. He really wasn't keen on leaving anything behind.

"Of course I do. They have programs for witches in special situations which allow them to learn things at an accelerated rate so as not to be a burden on wizarding society." This was said as though it was common knowledge, although Sirius would bet that none of the others knew about these programs.

She stopped abruptly in front of a brick wall. Smiling brilliantly she offered Sirius her hands.

"Hold on tight." And with a pop they were no more.

XXxXxXxXxXxx

Forbidden things have a secret charm

-- Publius Cornelius Tacitus


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Hi my lovelies!! I am super stoked about stuff (too much caffeine). Also, in the spirit of being prepared, I might be needing a BETA in the near future…my Microsoft Word trial will be running out shortly, meaning until I scrape together enough cash to buy the actual product, my work has the possibility of being riddled with misspelled words (have a tendency to double by consonants, and think Britain should be spelled with 2 t's) Anyway, if you guys are interested let me know, if no one takes that just means it will take a while longer for chaps to get up. No Biggie. ONWARD!!!!!!

XXxXxXXXxxxxxX

Remus glanced at the calendar, it was _only_ December 21st. Sighting irritably he glanced around his room, bored out of his mind. His eyes perused the several bookcases stationed around the room, all of them filled to the brim and overflowing with well used books; books that he has read several times and had no inclination to read again.

Honey brown eyes full of anxiousness settled for looking out the window. The snow had been falling heavily for the past several hours, so a walk outside was out of the question for the moment. Then again if he caught something akin to a cold he could owl Lynne and pretend he needs her to nurse him back to health….

Yes, Remus Lupin was aware that his thoughts were rather lame, to say the least. He felt like he had taken a dip in Sirius's mind, he couldn't recall ever thinking such lewd thoughts.

'_Maybe I could floo over and surprise her. If I'm this bored here at home I'm sure she must be close to death with it over.'_

Those types of thoughts had been running marathons through his mind since about thirty minutes after they said their farewells. Indeed Remus felt pathetic, six days without her presence and he was moping around like his cat had just been run over.

Not that Lynne looked or acted much like a cat, she would probably pass rather cutely as one if it were Halloween. He might mention it to her if it ever arose.

A persistent tapping at his window, which at some point he had stopped staring at, lost in his musings no doubt, drew his attention and startled him out of his reveries. Hopping off his well worn, but well loved bed he moved swiftly across his small room to open his window and let in Lynne's small fluffy owl.

The small owl hooted in an appreciating manner before dropping her letter into his awaiting hands and then quickly fluttering over to his bed to burrow into his bed coverings. He had been there enough times, and like all animals who had a sense of familiarity, thought that he owned the place.

Despite its bold moves Remus only smiled affectionately at the small bird. Most everything that was tied to Lynne brought a smile to his face, not that he would ever admit that aloud. That would mean that he was having _serious_ feelings for her.

And that was a big No. Just as Lynne thought it was an obvious rule that no boys like her, Remus thought it was just as obvious a rule that he was not allowed to like any girls. Those poor deluded souls, thinking that the opposite sex was out of bounds—apparently they had never thought to throw hormones into the mix.

But back in the present moment Remus was carefully opening her letter. He was extremely chary of tearing them, since he kept them as mementos. Unfolding her letter his eyes quickly devoured the words scrawled messily on the page.

_Dear Remus,_

_I am sorry this is so short and so without notice, but I need to see you as soon as possible. Please, it is something akin to a personal emergency. _

_I am apparating over around 6, I hope Chimney has made it before then—He's generally quite efficient._

_If he doesn't arrive before me, then the purpose of this letter is mute. But that is beyond my control at the moment._

_Sincerely yours, with all my love.  
Lynne._

Remus blinked owlishly at the parchment in his hand. This was rather unusual on many accounts. For one, this was the first time she had ever signed Lynne. For two, Lynne's hand writing had never been so chaotic, she generally had excellent penmanship. And for three, Lynne had never come to him with her personal problems.

He blinked a few more times in an attempt to regain control of his sputtering brain. His eyes widened in alarm as he scrambled to find the time.

5:50 pm. A gust of air was expelled from his lungs. He still had time, not much, but enough to warn his parents of her coming.

XXxXxxxXxX

All three Lupins were sitting in their living room. Waiting. It was 6:05 pm. Nothing to really worry about, but with the weather and the trauma she seemed to have experience they were starting too.

When Remus had originally asked if Lynne could come over on Christmas Eve his parents had been hesitant with the full moon occurring the following day. He had accidentally slipped up and let them know that she was aware of his lycanthropy, which opened a whole other can of worms so to speak.

And thus Remus ended up sharing the entire story with them, from beginning to end, leaving nothing out but his growing feelings for her. To say that they had been touched would be an understatement. A more appropriate term would be enamored.

They were far too used to defending their sons existence from society, so when they learned that Lynne knew, cared not, and had in fact befriended him because of his illness they were very exuberant about having her over for Christmas eve.

It was now 6:10 and Remus was getting twitchy.

"I'm sure she's fine. It's pretty nasty out there; it's probably causing her delay." His father spoke soothingly, always the logical one in the family.

And sure enough, not even two minutes later they heard a soft knock on their door. All three stood to get it, causing an awkward moment where they all froze and looked at each other. Smiling, somewhat in embarrassment, his mother gave him a nod as she and his father sat back down.

XXxXxXxXxX

Lynne stared at the solid oak door in front of her, almost willing it to open. She could still feel the tears that had frozen to her pale skin. Her breaths were coming out in hot puffs of air that softly drifted away from her shivering body on currents of wind.

After what seemed a decade, although that was probably due to her chattering teeth, the door swung open, casting a soft orange glow into the darkening night. Remus stood there with a shy smile on his face and concern clear in his honey colored eyes.

"Come in, you've got to be freezing." He said kindly, stepping aside and ushering her into the warmth of the Lupin's house.

After unbundling herself and rubbing her slightly blue hands together she cast a quick, timid glance towards Remus, who was watching her with worry. She quickly tried to wipe the remnants of her tears from her face, blushing in embarrassment.

"I'll get us some coco, introduce you to my mum and dad, and then we can talk. Okay?" He warm voice having a soothing effect on her frazzled nerves.

At her nod he led her into their kitchen. It had soft yellow walls with blue window trimmings, the regular appliances found in every kitchen and a light wooden breakfast nook. Lynne dropped her eyes to the floor, nostalgia hitting for the first time in a long while. Where it not for years of practice, she probably would have cried like a blubbering baby.

Remus tried to make small talk as he prepared their coco, but after a few monosyllabic replies from her he settled for an uncomfortable silence. Although, he noticed that she didn't seem aware of the silence, she seemed quite wrapped up in her thoughts—a melancholy air hanging like a shroud off her drooping shoulders.

Sighing despairingly he led her into the living room where his parents were patiently waiting. When they walked in his parents rose to greet them, smiles alight on their faces.

"Lynne, this is my mum and dad. Mum and dad, this is Rayleigh Lurse, but we all call her Lynne." He said smiling proudly. After all he was rather happy to call Lynne his first and most important friend—although he'd never say that in front of James and Sirius, Peter maybe.

"It's a pleasure to meet you." Lynne said softly, smiling timidly as she shook their hands.

"Oh, the pleasures all ours dear, Remus has told us wonderful things about you. We were really looking forward to meeting you on Christmas Eve, but tonight is just as well. I hope everything is well?" Remus's mum said warmly, rambling only slightly and causing Lynne's face to flush at Remus talking about her.

"Nothing too despairing." Lynne said laughing lightly. "From your perspective I'm sure it's nothing more than silly teenage drama—but I get frazzled easily and needed Remus's soundness and advice, the quickest way was to come in person. I hope I'm not intruding." She continued, trying to pass off her problem as insignificant, and apologizing at the same time.

"Nonsense! Any friend of Remus's is always welcome here." His dad said, patting her reassuringly on the shoulder.

"It was nice to meet you; we'll leave you two to talk it out. We will be up stairs if you need us." His mum said, subtly ushering her husband out of the room, leaving only Remus and Lynne.

After they were both seated Lynne's eyes started to take on a frantic quality, she opened her mouth a few times, but no words came out. Remus waited patiently, keeping in mind that Lynne probably was not used to sharing her problems.

"Just take your time. We have all night if you would like." He said reassuringly. It however had the unwanted effect on her as tears started streaming down her face.

"It's Sirius…h-he…he..." she trailed off, not looking Remus in the eyes. Alarm set in on Remus, but Lynne quickly quelled it.

"Don't worry, he's physically fine. Although I think I might have muddled him up mentally." She said, staring a hole into their chocolate brown carpet.

"And please, please, please, try not to get angry with him…I think I might have lead him on…" she continued, taking a deep breath as if to steel herself against Remus's reaction.

"Lynne, just tell me what happened. I promise I won't do anything rash." He said, reaching out and taking hold of her shaking hands, rubbing soothing circles on the back of it with his thumb.

She took another deep breath before raising distressed hazel eyes to his.

"H-he…well, He kissed me." She said finally. Remus's breath caught as anger flashed in his eyes. But before he could explode she started speaking quickly.

"I didn't mean to lead him on. I didn't think he thought he liked me. See, we've been having a lot of philosophical talks, about love and such. It all started with you really…but that's beside the point. The point is that I thought he knew the only reason he was seeking my company was because I allowed him to be mature; to say deep things without anyone poking fun at him." She only took a deep breath before continuing.

"And so, what was it, I think yesterday, we were wandering around the castle just talking. We had been doing it all break, it didn't feel any different than the other times. But then I jokingly asked him if he had figured out why he likes me yet. I honestly thought he knew, I didn't mean to egg him on. But he stopped and looked at me, very intensely, and then started saying all these things."

"He kept saying that not only was I pretty, but smart and kind, and that I didn't want his friendship for his bed or his money. I don't think he understood how uncomfortable I was getting. He seemed almost possessed with his confessions. He kept saying that he couldn't get me out of his thoughts, how he wondered what it was like to hold me and kiss me, what it was like for us to be a couple."

"When I opened my mouth to protest, he kissed me. I didn't know what to do so I stood there. After a few moments he let go and got this really depressed look in his eyes and then he got angry. He started raving that it was unfair, that you didn't deserve me, that I deserved someone who was going to love me back and cherish me for who I really was."

"He was in the middle of yelling something about how I made him sick the way I pine after you like a sick puppy when I ran off. I'd never been so confused in my life." She said bursting into a new wave of tears.

A couple sniffles later, she continued with the last part of her story.

"I was just going to hide in the common room until I was able to come see you, I was hoping that I could work it out so I wouldn't be so hysterical, but he kept sending me owls, trying to get me to come out. I think he wanted to apologize but I don't think I can face him yet. And when I ignored his owls he somehow got into the Hufflepuff common room, I barely made it up to the girls' room before he cornered me."

"That's when I owled you…I felt so trapped." She finished softly, looking sadly in Remus's eyes.

Remus was stunned silent. Padfoot had betrayed him, he broke the maraudering code. Not only that, he had upset Lynne to the point of hysteria.

"I'm so sorry Remus. I never meant for this to happen to you." She spoke dejectedly. Remus's eyes stared incredulously back at her. Nothing really had happened to him, other than Sirius somewhat betraying their friendship.

"Lynne, don't apologize. You've done nothing wrong." He said soothingly, pulling her into his lap so he could cradle her quivering form.

Sniffling and shaking her head she replied.

"Nu-uh. If I had never started talking to him then your guys' friendship wouldn't be in jeopardy." She said, mumbling into his neck, causing his body to shiver in appreciation.

"Lynne, look at me." He softly prodded. Her teary hazel eyes met his caring honey ones.

"Under no circumstances should you blame yourself. You are more than allowed to have friends. Sirius was just being a dunderhead and not thinking. I think he forgets that you're not used to having that many friends." Somewhere in the middle of his sentence he started running his hand through her silky brown hair.

Lynne shifted, snuggling into his form, a content sigh escaping her parted lips as he continued with his hair ministrations.

"What do you mean?" she asked, absentmindedly drawing patterns on his arm wrapped around her waist, setting it alight with tingling nerves.

Remus paused for a moment to collect his thoughts. Having Lynne cuddled up against him was doing a number on his thought process.

"Well…" another pause. "You're very personal." She pulled far enough away to give him a confused look, prompting him to continue.

"The way you interact with people is very individualized. You tend to pay full attention to whoever you talk to and seem to take a personal interest in what they're saying." At her blank look he gave an indulgent smile.

"Most people aren't like that Lynne. The people Sirius is used to dealing with definitely aren't. Which is why he thinks he's fallen for you, the way you interact with others makes it very easy to be smitten with you." She gave him a disbelieving look before saying

"But most of the time we spent together we were talking about you…" her eyes widened slightly, realizing where she was headed with that train of thought. It probably wouldn't do to tell the boy that she's sitting on that she's insanely in love with him, not after she's just used him as a living Kleenex anyway.

An arrogant smirk twisted Remus's lips upward as his eyes twinkled merrily.

"You were saying?" Humor thrumming through his sweet voice.

"Well, the only reason Sirius started talking to me was to question me about our relationship, he said he didn't understand it. Although I think he might have gotten into the letters I sent you, if you've kept them that is. He seemed to know an awful lot about me." She trailed off blushing slightly.

"And what did you tell him about our relationship?" he questioned, smirk still in place, but genuine curiosity leaking through his voice.

Her cheeks flared scarlet as she quickly looked away.

"I don't think you'll like the answer." She mumbled, stiffening in his embrace. Remus's felt as though the bottom of his stomach had dropped out.

"Will you tell me anyway? It won't change anything between us I promise." He said sincerely. Lynne mattered a great deal to him and no matter how she felt their relationship worked it would not deter him from continuing it.

She quietly disentangled herself from him, standing with her back towards him and eyes cast at the floor. Both missing the heat from each other.

"I told him that you were my best and only friend and that I care for you very deeply, probably more than I should." Her voice was dropping in volume, causing Remus to move closer to catch the rest.

"He asked me if I wanted you to love me…if I loved you…" she trailed off, afraid to continue with her confessions. Her mind was screaming at her for revealing this much, her defenses readying themselves for rejection. After all, everyone she has loved has cast her away like a diseased rodent, why not Remus as well?

He walked up behind her, wrapping his arms around her slender waist in a backwards hug.

"I promise nothing will change between us Lynne." He soothingly whispered in her ear, his breath tickling her neck.

"I know." She said, tears falling from her eyes, landing on his arms. "That's what makes this so hard." A sob trying to work its way out.

She turned in his arms to face him, her eyes meeting his with a fearful determination. If she was going to confess she was going to do it to his face.

"I told him that I do love you, but that it doesn't matter because you would be miserable loving me. I would rather you not love me at all, platonically or romantically…people who love me always toss me away. With time it would be no different with you…I don't think I can take that…" she whispered, her eyes dropping forlornly from his eyes.

Remus stared at her stunned, forgetting to breathe.

XXxXxXxX

"One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter." ---James Earl Jones.

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A/N: soooo, what do you guys think? I need some feedback on this one. I don't know how to feel about it.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Thank you sooo much for all of your wonderful support. I love you guys bunches!

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Remus sighed petulantly as he squirmed around in his bed. Sleep was not coming easily tonight. It might have to do with the girl who was currently sleeping in the Lupin's guest room. Yes, that's right; Lynne Lurse was spending the night at the Lupins'.

Around midnight, after both Lynne and Remus had calmed down, his mum and dad came in and told them that visiting time was over. Of course they said it nicer than that, but that was the main point. However, as Lynne opened the door to leave a massive pile of snow fell into the entrance way. Apparently no one had noticed the blizzard that was happily wreaking havoc on nature outside.

Lynne was prepared to apparate from Remus's house to Hogwarts gate, but his dad quickly forbid it. If weather was bad in England, chances are it was horrendous in Scotland. Their logic puzzled Lynne, but she did not protest too adamantly.

And thus, Lynne was corralled into the guest room with little choice. They said if the weather was calmer in the morning she could leave—if not then she would have to stay a wee bit longer. It made no difference to Lynne; she just shrugged it off and smiled kindly.

"_I-I…I know t-that you will never love m-me..."_

Her voice rang sadly through his head; he could still see her stifling her sobs, holding back her tears, refusing to look at him. To be honest it broke his heart.

It broke his heart to know that she knew all along he would never accept that kind of love from her, yet she did not withhold it from him. It was ripping his soul apart to know that she wasn't going to stop loving him anytime soon. He felt so wretched on the inside because all he wanted to do was take her in his arms and hold her, kiss her, love her like she deserved.

But he couldn't.

It was for the best, wasn't it?

No, he couldn't say it was; he didn't truly believe it was either. But that doesn't mean that he was going to do anything to amend it.

Tears were trying to leak through his clenched eyes. Life sucked, and he felt pathetic. He doubted James ever cried over his inability to be with Lilly—then again James always thought they were going to end up together, and indeed they did.

Remus knew that he and Lynne were never going to be. Perhaps that made all the difference perhaps that was just the excuse Remus was using.

A knock sounded at his door, and for a moment Remus's heart skipped a beat as hope over took him. Maybe it was Lynne, maybe he could tell her how he really felt and they could be together.

But his hope was overtaken with disappointment when he recognized the small form of his mother.

"Remus, dear, are you still up?" She asked quietly, peering blindly through the darkness.

A grunt was the only response she received, but being his mother that was all 'the okay' she needed. She quietly padded across his room before sitting softly on the edge of his bed.

"Is she okay?" She semi-whispered to her slightly moody son.

"About as okay as anyone can be with a broken heart." He replied dejectedly. He and his parents were very close, other than the marauders, they were his confidants. This was largely in part of the whole werewolf thing. Those kinds of illnesses tend to either bind a family together or rip them apart entirely.

Luckily the Lupins drew closer and not apart.

A soft sight escaped his mother's lips as she ran her fingers through her only son's soft brown hair, calming his frazzled nerves, but not lessening the despair he felt.

"Why is it broken?"

"Because she gave it to me." He replied, somewhat dramatically. A small smile tugged at his mothers' lips.

"She knew all along, though." He continued. "She told me so. Straight to my face. She looked so resigned…like she knew from the start it was never going to work. Why did she do it mum? Why?" He finished, his voice pleading.

His mother's hand paused as she thought carefully about her reply.

"I can't say, Hun. Perhaps she couldn't help it. Love is a very cruel mistress. Maybe she gave it to you because she couldn't find anyone else to give it too. Maybe she wanted to give it to you. You'll have to ask her those questions."

Her words did not sooth his aching heart.

"But she _knew_." He pressed. "She knew it was only going to hurt her in the end. How can someone do that to themselves?"

"Why do you distance yourself from those who care about you? You know it's only going to hurt you in the end." She replied peacefully.

Remus looked at her in shock. That was different! Surely she knew that.

A full blown smile overtook her face.

"Yes, it is the same thing. Goodnight Remus. Try to get some sleep, the blizzard isn't supposed to let up anytime soon so I doubt your dad will let the poor dear leave tomorrow."

And with that she kissed his forehead and silently made her way out of his room, closing the door softly behind her.

XXxxxxXxX

Remus's father was sitting at the kitchen table, sipping his morning coffee and reading the daily newspaper when Lynne walked in looking slightly disheveled.

"Morning, Sir." She said smiling brightly, causing him to smile in return.

"Good morning Lynne. Did you sleep well" He asked conversationally.

A small frown twisted her lips down as she shook her head.

"Not really, but I've never been able to sleep comfortably in any other bed but mine. It's quite a nuisance, really." She said, a smile replacing her frown as she finished her sentence.

Mr. Lupin's eyes held some emotion that Lynne did not recognize as he folded up his newspaper and gave her his full attention.

"Why don't you grab a cup of coffee? I was hoping I could talk to you one on one." His voice was friendly, but his eyes were all business. Shrugging away any discomfort Lynne did as she was told.

Sitting, she faced him blankly, waiting for him to begin.

"Remus told us some about you, but I was hoping I could hear it from you. I hope you understand that I am only being overly intrusive because of Remus's ailment. One slip up and his life could literally be endangered." His voice was firm, leaving no room for disagreement. Lynne thought it was rather touching that his family was so protective of him.

She smiled in understanding as she prepared herself to tell her story, for the second time in her life.

A faraway look overtook her hazel eyes, making the grey flecks sprinkled in them stand out noticeably.

"My mum and dad live on the other side of the forest, I was their only child and they loved me deeply. We led a very simple and secluded life. I suppose if you had to pin a religion on them it would be protestant, they were very superstitious. So when I received my acceptance letter from Hogwarts they went a little berserk and chased me out of the house. Had I stayed I think we would have had another go at the Salem Witch Trials." She said irony in her voice and a cruel smile on her lips.

"I spent the night up a tree in the forest; it was the biggest one in the forest, I had always been fascinated by it. It was a full moon that night." Her eyes settled on his, unnerving him slightly.

"I'm sure you can fill in the rest of the night. But in the morning, instead of finding a monster waiting to devour me I found Remus. He looked so fragile…and you guys cared for him so deeply. At eleven I didn't understand it, but I wanted it. I followed you guys to the other side of the forest to see where you lived. I think I honestly believed you guys lived in a completely different world than me, one that my parents hid from me, shunned me from. I remember him lying in bed; all cut up and exhausted looking. He seemed so defeated it made me want to make him smile. And since then I've been sending him letters and chocolates." She finished with a shrug, her eyes focused clearly in the present time.

Mr. Lupin rubbed his chin in thought. It was pretty similar to what Remus had told them, more in depth, but that was to be expected.

"So what is your relationship to my son?" he asked finally, causing Lynne to grin at him. She felt like she was a boy trying to take his daughter on a date—it was very amusing.

"I suppose if you had a flare for dramatics I would say 'Unrequited lover'" she giggled as he slightly choked, eyes wide at her brutal honesty.

"Although, if you're not that fond of drama, I would say I'm a dear friend." His brow furrowed in concentration as he tried to figure out the petite slip of a girl that sat before him.

"Does he know…how you feel that is?"Discomfort was rising through his calm, controlled tone. However, he kept his familiar honey eyes trained on her amused ones.

"Yup." She said smiling grandly."But you and I both know that means nothing."

He decided that he was not fond of one on one talks with Lynne, she slightly intimidated him. Which he found ridiculous, he was supposed to be intimidating her.

"He has your eyes, you know? And his mum's nose. I think it's cute."

He blinked at her, was she for real?

"You're very odd Lynne." Was all he could say.

Her bell like laughter rang through the kitchen softly as Mrs. Lupin walked in looking ready for the day. She paused momentarily to take in the sight of the small brown haired woman, barely above being a child, laughing merrily at her husband who was wearing a bewildered look on his handsome face.

Remus walked in seconds after his mother, catching the tail end of the scene. It seemed like one of those moments that should be stowed away and remembered for a very long time to come.

Mr. Lupin shook himself out of his stupor before looking up at his wife and son.

"Good morning you two, I was wondering when you would join us." He said contently. His wife smiled in return.

"So what were you two up to this early in the morning?" She asked curiously. She hoped that he didn't scare the poor girl away; he could come on a little strong at times. But from the look of it Lynne didn't seem bothered.

"We were reenacting the Spanish Inquisition." Lynne said, winking at him good naturedly. Causing Mr. Lupin to look slightly embarrassed and Mrs. Lupin to tut disapprovingly.

"I told you not to badger the poor girl." She said addressing her nosy husband who had the decency to look slightly abashed. Remus, however, looked slightly alarmed at the thought of his father drilling Lynne with questions. His fears were abated when he noticed that Lynne looked perfectly at peace sitting at his kitchen table, no trace of discomfort in her body language.

After the two newcomers were seated at the table the room took on a relaxed air. Conversations were kept light and impersonal.

"Do you suppose I will be able to leave today?" Lynne asked staring at Remus's parents. As much as she loved being around them, she didn't want to intrude on their family holiday. She also wanted a shower and a clean set of clothes.

Mrs. Lupin looked at her husband whose brow was furrowed, lips pursed in concentration.

"I'm afraid not, the blizzard has let up some but it's still pretty nasty outside. I would feel much better if you could hang tight here just a little longer." He said finally, sending an apologetic look her way.

Her head tilted to the side as she sent Remus a curious look. "Your fireplace isn't hooked up to the floo network is it?" Mr. and Mrs. Lupin looked at each other in confusion, neither were witches so both were under educated on Wizarding transportation.

Remus smiled apologetically at her. "Sorry, but no."

"What is this 'floo network?" asked Mrs. Lupin, her face screwed up in puzzlement at the strange name.

"Wizards take a handful of floo powder and throw it into the fireplace, saying clearly their destination, and poof they appear there." Remus explained. Lynne cast him a funny look at the 'and poof' part, for some reason she never imagined the word poof to be in his vocabulary.

His parents nodded their heads slowly in response. The Wizarding world is full of strange things.

"Well, then I suppose I will just wait patiently until the weather becomes more agreeable." Lynne conceded agreeably.

XXxXxXxX

By mid afternoon everyone had gotten more comfortable in each other's presence. Lynne was quickly growing on Mr. and Mrs. Lupin, they were becoming slightly attached. Remus had decided to make the most of his time with Lynne and his family, choosing to ignore his bleeding heart, and pretend for the day that Lynne was his.

Lynne was soaking up the family vibe that everyone was sending out. She hadn't realized how much she missed her own. Perhaps for Christmas she would go visit them…

"Do you think they'd be happy to see me?" She asked Remus quietly, her eyes wide at the prospect of seeing her mother and father again.

Remus couldn't help but smile endearingly at her innocent gaze.

"They would be fools not to." He said, brushing a strand of her soft brown hair behind her ear, causing her to flush red at the tender contact.

A couple hours of laughter and merriment later Mr. Lupin gave her the okay to apparate to Hogwarts, as long as she promised to be careful.

"You're coming back for Christmas Eve, right?" Mrs. Lupin asked as she gave Lynne a hug goodbye.

"As long as you guys will still have me." Replied Lynne, smiling shyly.

Mr. and Mrs. Lupin laughed and reassured her that she was more than welcome, anytime.

Remus walked her to the end of the property…she could have apparated from their living room if she really wanted, but it's always best to find a clearing before apparating.

Remus shyly took her hand on the walk down, lacing their fingers together. It was a moment that both of them would cherish for a long time.

"I know that this won't last past Christmas Eve…"Lynne said softly, staring into his emotion filled honey eyes. "It's okay, it really is…but until then, can we at least pretend?" Her hazel eyes were pleading.

How could Remus even begin to say no?

He nodded slightly, a smile starting to spread across his chapped lips. At his response Lynne's whole countenance changed. Her face shown with happiness and her eyes held the love that Remus had always craved.

"Thank you." She whispered, bringing him into a tight, meaningful hug. His arms wrapped securely around her, begging him to never let go of his precious girl.

They pulled away, both flushed, unsure of how to deal with the waves of emotion they were experiencing. Lynne tenderly cupped his warm cheek with her hand, staring into his honey eyes.

"I will always love you, Remus Lupin." She murmured, pressing her lips against his. Warmth flooded her body as tingles ran rampart on her nerves. Remus melted into her embrace, relishing in the sensation of being loved.

It was a simple kiss, one of undying love and care.

Lynne and Remus broke apart after a few moments. Love was still reflecting from Lynne's eyes as she apparated away. Leaving Remus standing dazed, staring at the spot she had just been in.

As he walked back into his house he was greeted by his mum and dad. Blinking out of his daze he tried to focus his attention on them and not the delicious kiss he had just experienced.

"You know she loves you right?" His dad asked gently, looking sadly at his only son.

Remus nodded mutely at him. Oh, he did indeed know she loved him.

"Do you really want to break her heart? You both could be so happy." His mom said wistfully. Honestly, Remus should just get over himself and accept the wonderful gift Lynne represented.

Remus's conflicted eyes met his mothers.

"What happens when I'm chased out of town for being what I am? What happens when I'm flat broke because no one will hire me? What happens if we have a kid? What about any of that says happiness?"

His words weren't harsh, but the truth supporting them was.

His father met his gaze full on, determination and a hardness that Remus was unused to shining in them.

"I don't think she would care about that. She seems used to being shunned; I honestly don't think it would bother her half as much as it does now if she had you by her side."

His father's words were said bluntly, leaving no room for argument. But even if Remus felt like disagreeing he knew that his father only spoke the truth.

XXxXxXxXxX

"Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart."—Marcus Aurelius.

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A/N: So what do you guys think?? More fluff than normal, but this whole story is fluff. =] I know not a lot happened but it was necessary for the coming chapters. What do you think of his parents? I wasn't quite sure how to portray them.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: I can't thank you guys enough for all the love and support I've received. Sorry I haven't up dated this one…I got distracted and started a new one, go figure. But I'm really excited for it, and this one well…I already know how it's going to end so it has lost some of its novelty. Just a heads up this is the second to last chapter *dramatic gasp* and yes I do expect you all to read my new one as well… if there was a way that I could effectively bribe you I would. =]

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Sirius grey eyes stared sadly into the fireplace, a sad sigh escaping his sad face as he wallowed in his own sadness. It was not despair, or depression, or misery, or any of those awfully complicated emotions. Sirius Black was simply sad. Sadness is a simple emotion after all. It's the slight pressure that descends over the heart, making sighs abundant and smiles scarce.

Sadness is not heart wrenching like despair, nor is it as heavy and oppressing as misery or depression. Sadness can often be easily remedied. But more often than not people look too far into what has made them sad and work themselves into one of the more complicated emotions.

Sadness is a gateway emotion, much like weed is a gateway drug—or so it has been advertised.

Currently Sirius Black was trying his hardest to turn his sadness into one of the more intense emotions, subconsciously trying to validate his confession to Lynne by fooling himself into thinking he cares more deeply for her than he truly does.

Luckily, for all parties involved, Sirius's brooding was distracted by a commotion outside of the portrait entrance by the one person he was brooding about. Lynne Lurse was standing outside the Gryffindor common room arguing with the portrait who refused to let _'silly little Hufflepuffs into the wonderful, brave, inspiring'_ Gryffindor sanctuary.

To be honest it was quite aggravating, to be insulted by a painting that is.

"Please, I don't even want to go inside. I just need to see Sir-"Lynne's sentence was cut short as the portrait swung open and Sirius Black stuck his head out.

"Lynne?" He asked, his face brightening. She blinked at him oddly; perhaps he had a sixth sense that acted as a homing device. Upon seeing her confusion at his sudden appearance he just shrugged.

"You're kind of loud." He grinned at her cheekily, stepping out fully and letting the fat lady swing shut with a disgruntled sound.

She shook her head, trying hard to focus her over active thoughts. "Oh."

The casual air that Sirius had about him changed as he stared at her awkwardly. "Err...So…" He trailed off, looking everywhere but her face. He knew he had to apologize, but damn it if the Black blood in him didn't make it difficult.

"I figured we should talk about what happened." Lynne's eyes were trained on his face in suspicion as he continued to avoid his gaze. It's not often that _the_ Sirius Black gets embarrassed.

A defeated sigh escaped Sirius as he nodded in consent. "We can talk in the kitchens, I haven't eaten all day."

The walk to the kitchens was filled with a strained silence; Sirius kept stealing glances at the impassive Lynne who was looking forward determinedly. It wasn't until they had reached the kitchens and ordered two cups of cocoa along with soup for Sirius that he decided to break the silence. She was sitting across from him and her staring was starting to unnerve him. Apparently she wasn't going to make this easy.

"I'm sorry about the other day…I don't know what overcame me. It won't happen again, I promise." His brow was furrowed and his mouth was twisted into a frown, his apparent distaste for apologies very noticeable.

"You know you are a fool, yes?" She had one eyebrow quirked at him and a sardonic smile on her pretty little lips. Sirius's frown only deepened at her response, so much for gracefully accepting apologies.

When he remained silent Lynne continued. "Only you would try and win the affections of a girl who has openly expressed her love for one of your best mates. Truly a fools endeavor, and to top it off, now you have to explain yourself to Remus." She ended quite seriously.

The realization made Sirius pale, oh yeah, Remus…

Her teasing laughter filled the silence between them. "He was quite angry when he heard, but it shouldn't be too bad. He's always been understanding; although, he's kind of viewing this as a betrayal."

Sirius gulped. "How does he know already? It happened, what two, three days ago?"

Lynne blinked at him realizing he was serious. "Where do you think I disappeared to?" she had thought it would be blatantly obvious she would run to Remus, but it would seem that boys in general have an unwritten rule to ignore the blatantly obvious.

Comprehension dawned on Sirius's handsome face. "Oh."

"Yeah, Oh."

"So he didn't take it well?" Concern reflecting in his narrowed eyes.

"Not really, he got angry for a couple moments but calmed down when I started apologizing." Sirius looked ashamed; he had really mucked things up this time.

"I never meant to lead you on Sirius. I honestly didn't." Lynne looked at him softly, sincerity in her voice. "The idea of guys actually fancying me is something of a novelty."

Sirius looked at her in confusion. "I don't understand you Lynne Lurse. How on earth did you manage to stay off the radar for so long at a school as socially pervading as Hogwarts?"

Lynne just shrugged as she focused on her quickly cooling cup of cocoa, taking a sip and reveling in the chocolaty goodness. Sirius just shook his head before glancing down at his potato soup. Yummy.

"So, I was thinking about what you said, about the whole not actually liking you thing. And I hate to admit it, but I think you're right." He trailed off not looking up. It would be so much easier to explain his actions if he had actually like her, and not just the idea of her.

Lynne nodded sagely, of course she was right. Remember the first rule of life? Boys don't like Lynne Lurse. Remus was a werewolf, so he doesn't count.

"I mean I really wish you weren't right. I really do like you as a person, but I think I got a little caught up in myself and my perception of you." His neck was showing signs of redness and his eyes stayed glued to his ever so interesting potato soup.

"It's okay. You don't have to apologize to me; you have to apologize to Remus." She said bluntly.

His eyes flew to her face, flickers of anger showing in his eyes. "That really is annoying me though."

It was Lynne's turn to look confused. "Huh?" was her eloquent reply.

"I know Remus is a stellar guy, one of my best mates in fact, but it does bother me how you pine after him. You should have more self respect than that." He finished resolutely.

"You mean like how James had self respect in his pursuit of Lilly?" Lynne's lips twitched up almost imperceptivity, the only sign that she was joking.

Sirius frowned. "That was different. James loves…oh…Oh, I get it!" His sudden declaration startled her somewhat.

"You mean you love love Remus. As in more than I want to be with him forever love." Lynne looked at him blankly, not quite comprehending his epiphany.

Sirius gave a frustrated grunt as he searched for a better explanation. "I never bothered James about Lilly; well I did, but never seriously, because James love loves her. As in he'd rather see her happy with someone else for all eternity if things didn't work out between them kind of love."

Lynne looked at Sirius dubiously. "James used to jinx any boy that looked at Lilly."

At this Sirius laughed. "Yes, well James also had an unwavering conviction that he could make Lilly happy, if only she would give him the chance."

Lynne nodded slowly as she mulled over Sirius's odd logic.

"So no hard feelings I didn't realize it was love love…even though you blatantly said so. Love love is pretty rare. And to be fair you're not the first girl who said she loves Remus." Sirius was rambling, they both knew it, but he was still pretty embarrassed.

Lynne's lips pursed before she nodded with a smile. "No hard feelings."

XXxxXxXxX

The Lupin's were gathered in their living room once more as they awaited it arrival of Lynne. It was finally Christmas Eve. The fireplace in their living room was happily crackling away, making the room feel festive and cozy.

Remus had am excited look on his face despite how terrible he was feeling, tomorrow was a full moon after all. His mum and dad were silently laughing at their son, ah young love.

A soft knock at the door had Remus springing into action, practically flying out of his seat. He was acting like an excited puppy, even though that was generally Sirius's bit.

He flung the front door open to reveal two figures. His smile brightened as his gaze fell on Lynne but a frown quickly replaced it as his eyes took in the form of Sirius Black.

"Err-r. Hello?" his voice sounded as confused as he looked. Lynne simply smiled while Sirius had the decency to look abashed.

"Sorry to show up uninvited, but I figured I had some explaining to do."Sirius mumbled looking down at his feet. Remus blinked, taking a moment to gather his thoughts.

"Lynne, would you mind going inside without me? Mum and dad are in the living room." Remus said distractedly, his eyes focused on Sirius. She cast a look at Sirius before shrugging. It was their fight now.

The moment the door closed behind Lynne, Remus lunged forward and punched Sirius square in the nose. "What the hell is your problem?" Remus asked seething over the bent form of his friend. Normally Remus wasn't one for violence, but being so close to the full moon always did make him moodier and much rasher.

Sirius blinked up at Remus in surprise, clutching his now bloodied nose. Normally, Sirius wouldn't take a punch without retaliating, but his guilt stayed his hands.

"Well? Do you care to explain why you tried to seduce Lynne? Why you felt the need to steal the only girl I've ever truly cared for? Do you really think I'm so undeserving? That she deserves someone better than me, more like you? Why you felt the need to betray our friendship like that? I never saw you trying to take Lilly away from James." His voice was flustered but undeniably angry. He had had a day or so to stew on it.

"I'm rorry." His reply muffled, still clutching his throbbing nose. Regret flashed through Remus's eyes as he pulled out his wand and quickly fixed Sirius's nose. He did deserve the punch though.

Sirius flashed him a sheepish smile at which Remus rolled his eyes. "Well?" he asked sounding more exasperated than angry.

"Honestly, I don't know what I was thinking…" He trailed off, glancing at the ground in an attempt to form a satisfactory reply. "I think I got caught up in our conversations. Whenever we talked about love she always sounded so sad and resigned. Like she knew that she was never going to be with you—or something. It made me angry, to be honest."

Remus stared at his friend with an unreadable expression; Sirius met his gaze with sincere eyes. "I never meant to hurt either of you. I wanted to make it right, I wanted to show her that love wasn't all doom and gloom…but that didn't really work out. I am sorry Remus; I've already apologized to Lynne."

His tense shoulders sagged as he let out a sigh. "I suppose you're forgive." Remus rolled his eyes letting Sirius know there were no hard feelings. Relief flooded Sirius's face as he struggled not to rush forward and hug his werewolf friend, that was so not manly.

The relief on Sirius's face was quickly replaced with a darker look. "Lynne does deserve someone who will love her back, though." Remus opened his mouth to give and indignant retort but was quickly cut off by the look on Sirius's face.

"You know she does. And it just so happens she fancies the pants off of you, and only you. This means you're the only man for the job." At Remus's stony silence Sirius resorted to extreme measures, puppy dog eyes.

"Please, just give it a shot." A sigh escaped his lips as he gave a small nod. A broad smile lit Sirius's face as he gave into his not so manly urge and pulled Remus into an excited hug, causing his unwilling friend to flush red in embarrassment.

Ah the romantic idiot that is Sirius Black.

XXxXxXxXxX

Back inside Lynne was having the most bizarre conversation with Remus's parents.

"I'm sure if you keep after him he'll eventually come to his senses and realize how silly he's being." Remus's mum had a serious look on her face as she offered Lynne advice, Mr. Lupin nodding sagely in agreement.

"U'uh, I think you guys have the wrong idea." Lynne stuttered, still trying to wrap her head around the oddity that was Mr. and Mrs. Lupin. Was it normal for parents to encourage young girls to practically smother their children into a relationship? Last time she was over Mr. Lupin had interrogated her, all but asking what her intentions were towards his son.

"Oh, no, we understand perfectly." Mr. Lupin even snuck in a wink. This was entirely disturbing.

"I'm going to go check on the boys." She said, quickly escaping the living room.

The both boys turned to her startled as she came flying out of the front door, on the verge of slamming it shut behind her. Remus took in her wide eyes and panicked face, what on earth could have happened.

"You okay there?" Sirius stared at her quizzically, slightly amused at her distress.

"You're mum and dad was giving me advice." She said flatly, looking shyly at Remus. He squinted his eyes in confusion, advice?

"About?" He asked densely while Sirius, surprisingly quicker on the up take was struggling not to laugh.

Lynne's face flushed red as her eyes darted away from his eyes, it was about that point that Remus caught on. "Oh…oh! I'm sorry. I didn't think they would corner you so quickly." Remus's voice held a certain amount of mirth his mouth twitching to smile.

Lynne scowled at the two boys. It wasn't funny; honestly, it was more disturbing if anything.

"Yes, well, is everything settled between you two?" She glanced between them, quickly diverting their attention.

"Yup right as rain." Sirius smiled happily, patting Remus on the back.

Lynne nodded resolutely, stepping forward and grasping Sirius's arm. "Be right back." She tossed over her shoulder to the puzzled Remus before she disappeared with a pop.

Remus was still blinking in bewilderment at the spot his two friends had been moments ago when Lynne reappeared out of thin air.

"Shall we?" She casually offered him her hand. Acting for all the world as though she had not just left Sirius all alone, Merlin knows where. Hopefully Hogwarts.

Remus nodded dumbly, obediently trailing behind her back into the warm house.

XXxXxXxX

The day passed much like the other one had: full of laughter, food, and delicious cocoa. This time, however, Mrs. Lupin kept trying to inconspicuously wink at Lynne in encouragement.

It seemed all too soon that it was time for Lynne to leave, but was getting late. Much like last time Lynne received hugs from Mrs. Lupin and a pat on the back from Mr. Lupin before Remus walked her to the end of their property.

Remus had his arm slung around Lynne's shoulders, holding her close to him as they soaked up their last moments together. Lynne sighed dreamily as she leaned her head on his shoulder, he was so comfy.

As they came to a stop Remus slid his arm off of her, turning to face her as he laced their fingers together.

A wistful smile was settled on his lips as he stared deeply into her sparkling hazel eyes. "I know you only asked for this to continue through the holidays…but I was hoping that we could give it a try for real…"

The glazed look that had been in her eyes disappeared as they snapped into clarity. "Are you sure? I understand if you don't want to, please don't do this unless you really want to." Worry and sadness had already leaked into her soft voice.

Remus's brow furrowed in confusion, was he sure? "I mean it—"her sentence was abruptly cut off as his hungry lips crashed over hers. Oh, he was quite sure.

There never had been a more efficient way to shut a woman up.

Remus drew her closer, one arm encircling her waist as his other hand tangled in her hair. He deepened the kiss when she eagerly responded, her arms coming to rest clasped behind his neck.

After a few heated moments they broke apart, Remus pressing his forehead against hers, staring lovingly at her.

He was trying to memorize every detail of her face, how her lips were red and swollen, how the green flecks in her eyes seemed to become prominent whenever she was enjoying herself, how her cheeks were flushed in pleasure.

"I'm sure." His voice was lower than normal, causing shivers to run over her spine.

"I won't be able to see you tomorrow; I'm going to visit my parents." She gulped nervously at the thought—half a decade had passed, would they still recognize her?

Remus nodded mutely, he too would be preoccupied. With a reluctant sight Remus detangled himself from her delicious grasp.

"Happy Christmas Lynne." He said smoothly pecking her on the cheek.

She grinned widely at him before planting a kiss on his lips. "Happy Christmas Remus."

XXxxxXXx

Remus stared at the spot Lynne had been standing in, a dazed smile on his attractive face. Today had been wonderful; perhaps things were looking up for werewolves.

Then again, maybe fate was just toying with its pawns.

If he knew what the fate had in store he would have never let go of Lynne. He would be clinging to her with his loving arms, protecting her from the quickly approaching future.

Sadly Remus was not privy to the whims of fate and thus had no idea the anguish that awaited them.

XXxXxXxXxXxX

"The greatest tragedy in mankind's entire history may be the hijacking of morality by religion."—Arthur C. Clarke

XXxXxXxX

A/N: *evil cackle* do you guys get it? Do you see? *more evil cackling*


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: I would like to cordially thank all of my lovely fans. I'm offering a special thanks to ImaSoCrazy for being so amazingly wonderful (she was faved, alerted and was my first reviewer ever =]). I'd also love to thank Lynne and LuLu for reviewing every single chapter =]. I will thank everyone at the end; I just figured that these three deserved a special thanks for their abnormal loyalty.

XXxXxXxXxX

Lynne stared at the drab door in front of her, all she had to do was lift her hand and knock. That was all that separated her from her parents.

A bright smile lit her face as she naively thought of how joyous their reunion would be. Surely they had seen the light by now. Lynne couldn't be evil, she was their baby girl.

With a determined nod she knocked solidly on the door. Anticipation built in her chest as she heard someone coming to the door.

A haggard looking man answered the door, his eyes held no recognition.

"May I help you?" his voice was questioning as he studied the young girl before him.

The smile dropped from Lynne's face as she shifted uncomfortably. "It's me…your daughter." She said softly, sadness dripping off her words.

Her father's brown eyes widened at the statement, as something unfamiliar flashing behind his shocked eyes. "Rayleigh?"

Lynne nodded smiling brightly; she hadn't used her real name in so long. It was odd to hear it again. He fumbled for a moment before ushering her hurriedly into the silent house.

Lynne was too preoccupied with examining her once upon a time house that she failed to notice the dead bolt being locked into place. A frown twisted her pretty lips down as she took in the depressing air that hung all around the house.

Lynne walked a little further into the dining room that was directly off of the entrance way, her eyes holding displeasure at the emptiness. She didn't notice her father approaching silently behind her. In his hands was a brick that they had often used to prop open their door so that the pleasant summer weather could flow freely through the house.

It hadn't been used in years; after Lynne had left there had been no purpose to allow the bright cheery weather to pervade such a dreary house. Now that she had returned her father quickly found another use for it.

His eyes narrowed in hate as he harshly bashed the solid brick into Lynne's unsuspecting skull, knocking her unconscious as she fell to the floor with a sickening thud.

XXxXxX

The Lurse house had changed drastically after Lynne left; her parents struggled both internally and externally with the idea that they had produced a _witch_. Witches were evil and evil was bad. Evil was to be purged, not ignored, coddled or forgiven.

All signs that the Lurse's had a child had been sluiced from the house. All her belongings had been burnt after her departure, her parents keeping in tradition with the idea that only fire can cleanse.

The lives of the Lurse's had changed even more drastically than their house. There was no more smiling or love. Their fragile minds had not been able to logically cope with their superstitious beliefs. The mere idea of having spawned something so clearly from the depths of hell drove Mrs. Lurse to insanity.

Six months after the terrible revelation Leah Lurse committed suicide, stabbing herself repeatedly in her stomach—the thing that had housed _it_ for nine months. With the death of his wife Ray Lurse sank into a deep hate filled depression. He loathed the fact that they had loved such an evil creature for eleven years. He despised it for murdering his wife. In his mind it possessed her until the only place it would not torment her was in the grave.

He slowly drove himself crazy, but unlike his wife who was driven to death he was driven to revenge. Revenge for the pain that it had caused, revenge for what it did to his lovely wife, revenge for what it did to him.

XXxXxXx

Darkness surrounded Lynne as a haze of pain settled around her, she tried to bring a hand to her pounding head but found them unable to move. Her eyes snapped open in panic as she took in her surroundings, her pulse was quickening as hysteria started to take over.

From what she could tell she was in her back yard lying in an old fire pit, ashes tickled her nose as she tried to free her bound limbs. It wasn't until she sneezed that the immobile figure who had been watching her for the past half hour stalked forward menacingly.

His strong hands buried themselves in her hair as he ripped her head back so she was forced to look at him while towered over her. Hate burned deeply in his eyes as he watched her try and plead with him through the gag in her mouth.

Like he wanted to hear her vile lies.

His eyes narrowed at her horror stricken face, she could see the death in his eyes, only causing her to struggle more. But it was to no avail. He had been planning this for years, this abomination would end tonight.

With disgust he threw her roughly back onto the ground, spitting on her prone body. She watched with wide terrified eyes as he walked over to a gasoline can setting on the deck railing. The dimming light of day only made the scene seem more sinister, the blood red sunset doing nothing to ward away the darkness closing in around her.

With a completely crazed look in his angered eyes he stomped back over to his daughter, his murderous intent suffocating her as her poor heart pumped quickly.

She was going to die, she could feel it, the air was heavy as it pressed against her lungs, and her wrists were becoming raw as she tried vainly to escape. Her wand was still in her pocket, she could feel it digging into her side in the most painful way.

If only she new wandless nonverbal spells…sadly she did not. Her fate was sealed; no one was coming to save her. Only Remus and Sirius knew that she was coming here, and they were both preparing for the full moon.

Her father's fiendish figure towered over her tense and struggling form as a demented smile twisted his lips in a disturbing manor. Murder never was a very appealing look.

He choked back insane laughter as he poured gasoline over her, staring at her feet, soaking every inch of her. Her eyes were burning from the fumes as tears leaked from her red eyes, she could taste the bitterness as it seeped through the gag.

Her vision was wavering as the gasoline smell pervaded all her senses. She shivered as the liquid clung to her clothes and set coolly on her exposed skin. Her shivers set off another round of disturbing laughter from her father; she wouldn't be cold much longer.

XXxXxXxX

Four boys stood outside gazing silently at the setting dusk, it was almost time for fun. Sirius grinned at his friends.

They had all convened at Remus's house after opening their presents in their respective houses. The day had been full of jovial laughter and raunchy jokes from Sirius and James regarding Lynne and Remus's recent development.

"I fail to see what is so exciting about full moons." Remus said bitterly, annoyed with their eagerness.

James smiled brightly at him. "You know it's exciting! We all get to run around and act like the animals we really are."

Remus rolled his eyes as they started walking deeper into the forest. He hoped Lynne knew to stay inside tonight. He smiled at his silly thoughts, of course she knew better, it was Lynne.

He would never admit it aloud but he was slightly excited for the full moon, to be over with anyway. When it was over he would wake up and get to enjoy Lynne's wonderful presence and chocolate.

"So is she going to visit you tomorrow?" Sirius asked offhandedly, not even bothering to throw in a suggestive wink. Remus flushed in the dying light causing Sirius to let lose a bark of laughter. Of course she was visiting him tomorrow, what kind of silly question was that?

XXxXxXx

Four animals trampled through the forest carelessly as they roughhoused. The moon had just barely risen when a delicious smelling smoke filled their senses. The three animals still in control of their minds chalked it up to a midnight barbeque—stranger things had happened in lieu of Christmas traditions.

When their werewolf counterpart would pause and sniff around they would quickly distract them, doing their best to keep him from wandering to the barbeque and making meals out of its participants. That would put a damper on Christmas.

XXxXxX

Ray's haunted eyes stared at the raging inferno before him. He had wanted to watch it burn alive, to suffer, to see it squirm in anguish as every nerve in its cursed body contorted in pain.

But he was smarter than that, the neighbors would hear the screams, they would try and save it.

He couldn't let that happen, so he knocked it out again, settling for the smell of burning flesh instead of screams of agony to appease his cruel desires.

He would watch until the last ember faded, and then he would set it on fire again. By the time he was done there wouldn't even been bones or teeth left to show it had existed.

It should have never existed; they should have killed it when they first learned. Heaven only knows the evilness it's left in its wake, but that no longer mattered; it was paying for its sinful nature.

xXxXxXxX

Remus's depressed eyes stared at the fire in the Gryffindor common room. No one had been able to find Lynne. After three weeks of intense searching they came up with nothing.

They had searched the Lurse's property from top to bottom, they found nothing. The police were going to go back in the spring to check the grounds around the house, at the time it was covered in so much snow and ice it was practically impossible to dig.

Mr. Lurse claimed that Lynne had fled from the house after he told her he had no daughter, he said she ran off towards the forest, emotionally distraught.

When Remus first heard that he promptly freaked out, thinking that he had killed her or maimed her and left her for dead, but the marauders quickly knocked some sense into him. The police thought she simply couldn't handle rejection and ran away, again.

Remus wanted to think so, but he had his doubts. She had handled rejection before. Sirius thought the dad did it, but everyone thought that was mostly due to his bad experience with his own dad.

They all seemed to know that Lynne was never coming back, but none took it quite so hard as Remus and Sirius. James and Peter and even Lily had tried to cheer the other two up but it only seemed to make things worse.

_Lilly looked at Remus sympathetically, unsure of how to comfort her. "You loved her didn't you?"_

_His eyes snapped towards her, his lips twitching in a grimace. "Does it matter?" He snarled at her before storming out of the common room._

Sirius was not quite as bad but for the first few days he wouldn't quit ranting about how she thought love was the same as hate and they should have known better than to letter her return to people that had tried to kill her when she was eleven, but he eventually quieted when he realized that his ravings were doing nothing good for Remus.

XXxXxXx

The disappearance of Lynne Lurse was never solved, her case went cold when they could find nothing incriminating in the spring.

Lynne's father died a few days before his daughter would have graduated with the class of 1978, taking the events that happened Christmas night 1977 to the grave with him.

Lilly and James were married shortly after graduating. They had their only son on July 31, 1980—going into hiding shortly after. Unfortunately, Halloween night 1981 they were betrayed and murdered. Their son orphaned.

Peter Pettigrew was supposedly killed by Sirius, along with 12 innocent bystanders.

Sirius Black was considered to be a vicious murderer, despite his pleas of innocence, and was sentenced to Azkaban.

Remus Lupin soon found his life torn to shreds at the young age of 21. All his friends were dead, the only girl he was willing to share his life with was missing, he was shunned by society for being something he never chose to be, and the difficulty of his transformations only increased with his despair as loneliness threatened to consume him.

Surely the only thing that comes from loving is pain and anguish.

Likewise all things with life and up dead in the end.

XXxXxXxXxX

A/N: ANNDDD, so what do you guy's thing??? You have no idea how excited I am with this chapter =] I hope the last two lines explain my reasoning well enough for you guys. The first has been a common theme throughout the story, and the second is a fact =]

And Now *drum roll* it is time for thanking everyone. First I would like to thank all my silent supporters, ie: the people who favored/alerted this story.

I would love to thank: **Blackhawk68, evil_purple_monkey, Freewoods, Green-eues-girl22, ImaSoCrazy, Invisible-gurl, Reprimandedangel,Sarlovesoccer, and XxMichyBabyxX for adding this story to their favorite list.**

I would like to thank: **Coquettish, Flicka200, Hatshuyuki Suki, HeiressofAnor(**for both this story and my other one =])**Helbel, ILuvOdie, ImaSoCrazy, KrivoKlastko, Krr84, Riley_Baragon, Sarlovesoccer, Stanzi Wood, SugarHighness, UnlawfulTears, and XxMichyBabyxX for putting this story on alert.**

And finally I would love to thank:** XxMichyBabyxX, Lynne, LuLu, KrivoKlatsko, ImaSoCrazy, ILuvOdie, JohhnyCadesChick, Invisible-gurl, Sarlovesoccer,.Fish, b4the6, Renata, Blackhawk68, Flicka200, and Coquettish for all the wonderful, inspiring reviews.**

You guys have been so wonderful to me. I hope that I can continue to write stories that keep you interested and entertained. With love—Confuzed.


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